It's Recess-time Somewhere

Proud Member of the Reality-Based Sandbox

April 29, 2005

Drinking Liberally in Tampa

It appears as though there is a movement to get this started!

Read about it the Drinking Liberally organization here.

Blunted on Reality was nice enough to try to drum up some interest and involvement here.

He/She/It started a listserv, so go and sign up.

What are you waiting for??


Miss Beazley Tells Us How She Really Feels

Miss Beazley gets a rare opportunity to tell
us what's really going on at the White House.

"He doesn't respect my right to chose. He
wants to take away my guaranteed kibble
program for when I get older, and with the
ridiculously high deficit, my pups are going
to be born owing more than $26,000 to pay
that off."

Fakin' It

As it turns out, it looks like there is one more thing that George Bush and his cronies are faking. Interrogations at Guantanamo!!!

The U.S. military staged the interrogations of terrorism suspects
for members of Congress and other officials visiting the military
prison in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to make it appear the government was
obtaining valuable intelligence, a former Army translator who worked
there claims in a new book scheduled for release Monday.

Former Army Sgt. Erik Saar said the military chose detainees for the
mock interrogations who previously had been cooperative and instructed
them to repeat what they had told interrogators in earlier sessions,
according to an interview with the CBS television program “60 Minutes,”
which is slated to air Sunday night.


“They couldn’t show people what they were really doing, because
what they were really doing was illegal and inhumane,” said [Michael
Ratner, president of the Center for Constitutional Rights]. “It’s such
a fraud. It reminds me of the special concentration camps set up in
World War II. They would take the Red Cross there to see there was an
orchestra and all sorts of nice things.”

We have fake journalists, fake elections and a fake democracy. Why not have fake interrogations also. Wouldn't it be nice to wake up tomorrow and realize that the past five years were all fake, and everything turned out differently?

The economy wouldn't be in shambles, 1500 American soldiers would still be alive, we'd actually be putting a dent into the terrorism and nuclear proliferation threats, and the deficit wouldn't be out of this world. Come on everyone! Close your eyes and sing Kumba Ya with me! Just for a moment, let's pretend that the Republicans haven't totally screwed up our country.

Your Daughter Isn't So Special

I read this post on DailyKos this morning, and have been mulling over what to say about it. The gist of it is, the author is chatting with a man about abortion. He claims to be anti-choice, when he did infact help his 19 year-old daughter get an abortion. He claims that she was just too young to have a child, had a bright future in front of her, the fella that knocked her up was a scoundrel, and now she's successful and happily married with kids.

I'm very happy this woman was able to continue about her life and be successful. It's just these success stories that exemplify why we need to protect the right for women to chose what to do with their uteruses.

This man thinks his daughter is 'special,' and not like all the other girls that have unwanted pregnancies. He thinks she deserved to get a second chance in life and have a safe and legal abortion, but others don't. I'm sure his daughter is special, but so is every woman. There are a lot of women going through the same thing, and each one deserves to take the path of their choosing without the government or any one else interfering.

Friday Random Thoughts-Blogging Part II

This kind of plays into the fervent cell-phone debate going on over at Bottle Of Blog here and here, of which I seem to be the only pro-cell-phone person who reads Ricky's blog (Why do they hate technology and progress??).

So, last night, I was walking to the yacht club for the weekly Thursday night race. There was a fellow walking behind me, that said Hi. So, I said hi, noticed the complete lack of a wedding ring, and started chatting. He's new in town, this is the second time he's been to the club, etc. etc. etc.

Then, of all horrid things to happen, my cell phone rang. What would Ricky and Ellen and Janis and Rosie do, I thought??? I mean, I'm enjoying this conversation with a real person, and I really don't want to listen to my phone ring several times while I'm talking. I don't want to be rude. What do I do???

So, I looked at the caller ID, realized it was the skipper of my boat, no doubt wondering why I'm so late, and should they leave without me. But I pressed the 'stop ringing and go into voice mail' button and said "I don't need to take that," and continued chatting with this nice gentleman.

But then I got to thinkin'. Do I owe him an explanation? Should I tell him who was on the phone and why? This fellow thinks I'm hiding something. He thinks that's my evil abusive boyfriend on the line wondering why I'm not home fixing him dinner and fetching his slippers. Or he thinks I like him too much for just meeting him and talking for two minutes, seeing as how I'm forsaking all others for him already. Or he thinks I'm one of those rude cell phone freaks that make Ellen and Jerry cringe. Ack!

So, we talked as we walked, and soon we parted ways, as I really did need to hightail it down to the boat. The race was canceled due to a lack of wind, and I didn't see this fellow again. But maybe I will next week, if he wasn't too turned off by my cell phone ringing.

Friday Random Thoughts-Blogging Part I

I figured I'd take this opportunity to ramble on about some stuff I've been thinkin' about during the past 24 hours.

A good friend of mine is moving to South Carolina tomorrow. This fella, we'll call him Cory for the purpose of the essay, grew up here in Tampa on Davis Islands, and wants a change. He also loves to surf and there's not much of that going on down here.

We had a going away party for him last night at one of the local establishments. I'd say around 50 people showed up, his parents were there, the establishment gave us free pizza, he got a scrap book with pictures and messages, cards, a money tree to help with gas costs, a few gifts, countless hugs, and even a few sloppy kisses from that one girl who is always so wasted.

I almost got tears in my eyes when he was saying good bye to Bart the Beagle. Cory squatted down on Bart's level, Bart jumped up on his legs and gave him some very nice doggie kisses. And Bart doesn't give just anyone kisses. He's very particular. They say dogs are a very good judge of character, and I believe that.

So I was thinkin' why would anyone want to leave a place where so very many people love you? When I left Kansas, my going away party consisted of two or three friends and my parents helping me pack and clean my apartment. It was nice to get some help, of course, but certainly nothing like what was done for Cory.

He's going to South Carolina. He has a few friends there, and a good job opportunity, but how's he going to deal with the new scene? It's very different going from the bedroom community of Davis Islands, that you've lived in all your life, to a place where no one really knows you. He's 25 or so, has a great smile, a big heart, and a penchant for Jagermeister.

I'm sure he'll be just fine, and it will be a great adventure for him, but he will definitely be missed.

April 28, 2005

Hammer the Hammer

You all know how much I like games, so when I saw this one, I got all atwitter.

It's called Hammer the Hammer. And you get to whack Tom DeLay with a gavel and listen to some of the funnier things that he's said. If you have a few minutes, or an hour to kill, I highly recommend it!

via The Hill

Jebs! Assault on 13 Year-Olds

Mr. Jeb Bush has decided that a thirteen year-old abuse victim, who became pregnant while in state custody does not have a right to an abortion.

She received counseling from DCF professionals and decided that her best option was to have an abortion. Her case worker, even agreed to accompany her to the clinic. Sounds like story might have a reasonable ending....

But, No! Jeb! steps in to deprive this girl of her constitutional right. According to Florida law a thirteen year-old can have an abortion and neither has to notify or gain consent from her parents.

In a hearing that day before Juvenile Court Judge Ronald Alvarez, the state argued that Florida law gives DCF authority to prevent L.G. from having an abortion. The state said the girl was not able to make an informed decision because of her age and immaturity, according to the appeal filed Wednesday by the ACLU.

Alvarez agreed to delay the abortion until the court could give L.G. a psychological evaluation to find out whether an abortion could cause her emotional harm. The judge also wanted the court to determine whether the girl would face medical risks in terminating the pregnancy or carrying the baby to term.

um, I would think a 13 year-old carrying a pregnancy to term and becoming a mother so young would be a lot more emotionally harmful than getting an abortion. Yes she's very young to be having to make such a decision, but for god's sakes, it's her body. Let her have her constitutional right to do what she feels is right for her and her future!

The ACLU and the Legal Aid Society appealed that decision Wednesday to the 4th District Court of Appeal, saying neither DCF nor the court had any right to interfere.

The U.S. Supreme Court’s position that women have the right to choose an abortion overrides any state argument or law, ACLU of Florida Executive Director Howard Simon said.

Also she's in her 13th week of pregnancy, so the risks get greater and greater every day. I just can't even imagine what this girl is going through, and then to have the Governor make her go through even more crap? Where's the compassion? Where's the love? What the living hell are these people thinking?

Lessons From The Master

See, ya gotta hold the very end of it like this, dude.
Don't fat-lip it it man, that's nasty! And no bogarting
dude. Take your hit, then pass it on. Sweet!

Holidays in Hell

A few years ago, a friend recommend this book, Holidays in Hell. I never read it, but I just thought of it again, when I saw this at World O'Crap. I think P.J. O'Rourke oughta write a new edition and add in the Cruise with Bill O'Reilly.

Yes, the Bill O'Reilly Cruise is going to be a doozy!

The Thomas More Law Center presents a Caribbean Adventure Cruise with Bill O'Reilly and other notable guests onboard the new Holland American cruise ship "Westerdam".

From $1099.00 per person

Special offer: Exclusive V.I.P. cocktail reception with Bill O'Reilly limited to 100 Passengers. Additional $250 per person. Proceeds to benefit the Thomas More Law Center. Contributions are tax deductible to the fullest extent of the law.


Yes, sail with Bill, and for a mimimum of $1099 per person, learn how to combat the ACLU. (Whining is the main way. Lying is good too. Shouting and bullying are essential.)

And for just $250 more, you can have cocktails with Bill. He'll start by getting a couple of glasses of wine into you -- as quickly as he can, he will get 'em into you... maybe intravenously. Who knows what will happen next, because this is a Caribbean cruise, after all, and once people get into that hot weather they shed their inhibitions. You know, they drink during the day, they lay there and laze, they have dinner, and they come back and fool around -- that's basically the modus operandi.

So mark your calendars for Nov 13th - Nov 20th. Hope to see you all there!!

April 27, 2005 Rally

So, I did it. I went to the rally. Quite a bold step for me, as I'm usually the quiet girl that sits in the back of the class. But I did. And here's some pictures.

It was neat and fun and I met some really nice people. Not that I remember their names, but I remember their websites.

iPolity and Tampa Bay Independent Media Center

I'd really like to have a chapter of Drinking Liberally here in Tampa, mostly because I like to Drink. Liberally. But seeing as how I'm the quiet girl that sits in the back of class. I'm not sure where to begin.

April 26, 2005


I have a full fun and exciting day of off-site meetings tomorrow (4/26), so I shant be blogging. However, if you don't hear from me Wednesday night or Thursday morning, send in the goons, I hear these meetings are brutal.

The WMD Hunt Turns More Interesting

Once again, a report comes out stating the Iraq didn't have WMDs. This time, it states that Iraq did not hide these mystery WMDs in Syria. Democrats everywhere are looking smug with that "I told you so" look on the faces.

But for those of you that still think they might be found, Atrios suggests a secret hiding place, that the U.S. Goverment may have overlooked.

The WMD Are In Jonah Goldberg's Pants

And as you can plainly see, Jonah is never photographed below the belt. You'd think Geoge Tenet, Rumsfeld, Cheney and the gang would have thought of this earlier.

It's always the last place you look.

Lying: The New Family Value

The pharmacy manager of a K-Mart in Scottsdale, AZ, Dan Gransinger, wrote this for Arizona Republic.

Since Gov. Janet Napolitano has vetoed the "conscience bill" that would have allowed pharmacists to refuse to fill abortion and emergency-contraception prescriptions based on religious or moral views, I have a solution:

The pharmacist should just tell the patient that he is out of the medication
and can order it, but it will take a week to get here. The patient will be
forced to go to another pharmacy because she has to take these
medicines within 72 hours for them to be effective. Problem solved

Now, it's been awhile since I've picked up a Bible or been to church, but I'm pretty sure one of the commandments is still "Thou Shalt Not Lie."

Fortunately for women in Arizona and elsewhere, NARAL Pro-Choice Arizona wrote this nice letter to K-Mart calling for this man's immediate dismissal.

I have recently received several emails and phone calls regarding a
letter printed in the April 15th, 2005 Arizona Republic, written by a
pharmacist whom we believe is employed by your store, Dan
Gransinger. Attached is a copy of the letter for your reference.
In his letter, Mr. Gransinger advises other pharmacists who are morally
opposed to dispensing emergency contraception to lie to customers about
the products’ availability. He seems proud of his clever deception,
showing no concern for the customer’s safety or health. We at NARAL
find his attitude toward women’s health deplorable. His statements
show a total disregard for the law, and a complete lack of understanding
of the burden many women, especially poor women or those who live in
rural areas, may face if forced to fill their prescription at another

We would like to point out that, besides being blatantly illegal in view
of Governor Napolitano’s veto of HB 2541, the so-called “rights of
conscience bill”, Mr. Grasinger’s suggestion points out a certain lack of
morality. Apparently, lying is not something that weighs heavily on his conscience. Because Mr. Grasinger is publicly suggesting that
pharmacists lie to clients, we feel that K-mart must act immediately to
protect women and other clients from someone who has publicly stated his
willingness to mislead clients and keep them from their legal
prescriptions. His misrepresentations could lead to physical harm to
women as well as the undeniable interference of the dispensing of legally
prescribed medication, which is the legal and ethical obligation of your

We ask that K-mart immediately remove Mr. Grasinger from his position as
manager and as a pharmacist at this or any K-mart stores. In addition, we
are demanding that K-mart issue a public statement announcing his
dismissal, as well as assuring its pharmacy customers that their
healthcare needs are the number one priority of its pharmacists.

If you don't like what your people in your profession are required to do, then you should be in another profession. Problem Solved.

Don't Even Touch Me, You Homo

Dick Cheney holds his hand far, far away from
George Bush, as Bush prances through the
bluebonnets. After seeing how much fun those
lefty bloggers had with Bush and Crown Prince
Abdullah holding hands, he wanted to protect his
hetero-ness at all costs.

MSM Whiners

Juan Cole has a nice post on why bloggers have absolutely no reason whatsoever to cave to any pressures from the mainstream media.

Matthew Haughey took offense with bloggers' use of the term 'MSM' for mainstream media. And then he went so far as to threaten to stop reading blogs that use the term 'MSM.' Oh Dear. Please Matthew. Please don't stop reading blogs. We need you so.

Juan Cole doesn't care and no one else should either. Then Juan goes on to explain how blogs differ from the MSM.

The difference, Matt, is that we are independent actors, not part
of a small set of multi-billion dollar corporations. The difference
is that we are not under the constraints of making a 15% profit. The
difference is that we are a distributed information system, whereas
MSM is like a set of stand-alone mainframes. The difference is that we
can say what we damn well please.

If we were the mainstream media (perhaps better thought of as
corporate media), we would care if you threatened to stop reading us.
Because although we might be professional news people, we would have
the misfortune to be working for corporations that are mainly be about
making money.


If we were mainstream media we would be wholly owned subsidiaries of
General Electric, the Disney Corporation, Time Warner, Rupert Murdoch,
Viacom and so on and so forth. Ninety percent of cable channels are
owned by the same companies that own the big television networks.


So, yes, Matt. There is a difference between these little dog and
pony shows we post from our homes, with no editor, no CEO, no boss,
and no resources beyond our personal experiences, talent and acumen. If
Josh Marshall's Talking Points Memo was published by mainstream
media, would he still be allowed to say everything he now says? Would
Tom Engelhardt be allowed to discuss the ways in which the Iraq
quagmire suggests the limits of superpowerdom if he were working for the
Big Six? If Bill Montgomery worked for The Weather Channel, would he
be allowed to criticize Senator Rick Sanatarium for trying to keep
Federal forecasters from "competing" with private weather forecasting
companies? Would Riverbend be allowed to be so incisive if she worked for a big Iraqi computer firm?

All I have to say is that even though I'm a little tiny speck in the blogosphere, I'm a very proud little speck.

Oh, and Na, Na, You can't catch us!

My, My, What a Big Hard Drive You Have

American troops come darned tootin' close to capturing Iraq's most wanted fugitive, Jordanian rebel Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. He escaped, but they did find his... ahem, hard drive. And apparently they were awfully excitied about it.

Finding the computer, said the official, "was a seminal event." It had "a very big hard drive," the official said, and recent pictures of Zarqawi. The official said Zarqawi's driver and a bodyguard were taken into custody.

April 25, 2005

The Witty Headline of the Day

Woman Fingered in Wendys Finger Caper

Thanks to JRH for his astute web surfing.


I read this article in Discover Magazine last week while I was waiting at the mechanics for those thieves to fix my car.

Flocks of birds, herds of wildebeests and schools of fish have
long intrigued scientists. How do they know to turn simultaneously?
Why do they come together or break apart? How do they communicate with
one another? Recently a team led by Princeton University biologist
Simon Levin found a big clue to this scientific puzzle.

Using a computer model, Levin's team found that no communication is
necessary. All that is required is for any one of a few individuals to
have a strong preference for a certain direction. When one of these
individuals turns, everyone turns. If no one else turns, the individual
gets back in the pack as a follower. It doesn't take much to direct the
whole, Levin says.

The computer model, designed by research fellow Iain Couzin, could lead
to improved guidance systems for clusters of robots, such as those used
to gather oceanographic and atmospheric data. Levin also hopes insights
gleaned from the model will help scientists grasp the origins of
collective human behaviors, such as the emergence of social norms and
attitudes about important issues. It only takes a few strongly
opinionated people, says Levin, to dominate the dynamics of whole

It got me to thinkin' about how people like James Dobson end up influencing politics so much. He's just loud and opinionated. And most people don't really care that much about politics, as they are more worried about how to pay the mortgage and how much the groceries are gonna cost this week. They just go along with the loudest most opinionated jackass because it's the easiest thing to do, or maybe one of their loud and opinionated friends told them they should.

I think Progressives have such a 'live and let live' attitude that most of us tend to not be very loud and opinionated, unless someone is directly infringing on our rights. We just accept others and their beliefs for what they are and move on. But if "it doesn't take much to direct the whole," then maybe we should all be a little more vocal. We should educate ourselves and others on what Bush Co. is doing to our country and our world, and let others know too.

In a nice non-confrontational kind of way, of course.

Goose-Cooking Sugarland-Style

I'm thinkin' Tom DeLay's goose might just be cooked.

I think we all already had our suspicions that corrupt lobbyist, Jack Abramoff, paid for DeLay's airfare to England and Scotland, and it looks like another lobbyist paid for his hotel and golf expenses while he was there, and the Washington Post has the proof.

Tommy's been a bad, bad boy.

The airfare to London and Scotland in 2000 for then-House Majority Whip Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) was charged to an American Express card issued to Jack Abramoff, a Washington lobbyist at the center of a federal criminal and tax probe, according to two sources who know Abramoff’s credit card account number and to a copy of a travel invoice displaying that number.

DeLay’s expenses during the same trip for food, phone calls and other items at a golf course hotel in Scotland were billed to a different credit card also used on the trip by a second registered Washington lobbyist, Edwin A. Buckham, according to receipts documenting that portion of the trip.

House ethics rules bar lawmakers from accepting travel and related expenses from registered lobbyists…. The documents obtained by The Washington Post, including receipts for his hotel stays in Scotland and London and billings for his golfing during the trip at the famed St. Andrews course in Scotland, substantiate for the first time that some of DeLay’s expenses on the trip were billed to charge cards used by the two lobbyists.

And then, the only defense his attorney could come up with is this:

DeLay’s lawyer, Bobby R. Burchfield, said that DeLay’s staff was aware that Preston Gates was trying to arrange meetings and hotels for the trip but that DeLay was unaware of the “logistics” of bill payments, and that DeLay “continues to understand his expenses” were properly paid by the nonprofit organization, the National Center for Public Policy Research.

So, as The Carpetbagger points out:

To hear DeLay’s side of things, the Majority Leader enjoyed an all-expense-paid trip with a corrupt lobbyist, the lobbyist put the whole thing on his credit card, but DeLay’s in the clear because he assumed Abramoff was being reimbursed by the lobbyist’s non-profit organization.

But let’s be clear: that’s not a defense; it’s an admission of guilt. House rules prohibit lawmakers from taking lobbyist-sponsored trips, which DeLay obviously did, but the same rules also prohibit lawmakers from the same arrangement when the lobbyist is later reimbursed.

In other words, DeLay’s argument is, “I didn’t violate that House rule; I violated a different House rule.” This is his defense.

Fire up that grill and tell all your kin, cuz Mr. DeLay will be throwing a goose cookin', coffin nailing, camel's back breakin' shindig. Yeeeee-Haaaaw!!!

Springtime Puppy Love

George Bush and Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Abdullah hold
hands and skip through the bluebonnet wildflowers.

The White House refused to provide details
about the meeting.

First Jeff Gannon going in and out of the White House all
willy nilly. Now this. What will we tell the children?

Freedom of Too Much Information

The results are in from Rep. Louise Slaughter (D-NY) and Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) Freedom of Information Act request for documents relating to the access that Jeff Gannon had to the White House.

Lots of fun anomolies are evident!!

Guckert made more than two dozen excursions to the White House when
there were no scheduled briefings. On many of these days, the Press
Office held press gaggles aboard Air Force One—which raises questions
about what Guckert was doing at the White House.

This begs the question, of whether he was simply the White House whore. Maybe they all used him. Passed him around, so to speak. Share and share alike. While President Bush is away, the boys do play.

On at least fourteen occasions, Secret Service records show either
the entry or exit time missing. Generally, the existing entry or exit
times correlate with press conferences; on most of these days, the
records show that Guckert checked in but was never processed out.

So they let him in for the press conferences, but then he has to stay and 'work' or 'perform additional services' to members of the Bush Administration? Hmmmmm.

In March, 2003, Guckert left the White House twice on days he had
never checked in with the Secret Service.

Slumber parties with Ken Mehlman and Scott McClellan?

Since December 2004, all but one of Gannon’s forty-eight temporary
appointments were requested by Lois Cassano, a White House Press
Office media assistant. One additional request was made by Peter
Watkins, a press assistant who now works as deputy press secretary
to First Lady Laura Bush.

No. Not the First Lady, too? Is there no end to the moral decay of the White House? Is George Bush not man enough for her, that she needs a hot military stud on the side?

Over the next 22 months, Guckert failed to check out with the Service
on fourteen days. On several of these visits, Guckert either entered or
exited by a different entry/exit point than his usual one.

Do we really want to know about his 'usual entry points?' I mean Freedom of Information is great, but really. Eewww.

via The Alternate Brain

April 23, 2005

Are They Serious of Just Having Fun?

I usually don't blog much on the weekends, but since none of those Tampa spanking locations listed below panned out, I figured I'd put this up.

Ricky has probably the best post on Ann Coulter's debut on the cover of Time Magazine, so go there and get the details on that, if you don't already know just how delightful and fun Ms. Coulter is.

But evidently, the question Time Magazine asked, "Is she serious, or just having fun," has been asked in the cover line of Time Magazine at least twice before.

Regarding two of John Cloud's other heroes, Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler.

Re Stalin: Critics say his collectivisation program is killing
millions. He says of his detractors: "No man. no problem." Is
he serious or just having fun?

Re Hitler: The new Chancellor has lots to say about liberals and
socialsits. And don't get him started on the Jews! Is he serious
or just having fun?

OK, maybe these were just photoshopped, but still. I think Stalin and Hitler are just as fun and delightful and as Ms. Coulter.

Roy's Bad Day

I wrote this limerick about two years ago when North Carolina had the audacity to steal coach Roy Williams away from Kansas, and just last night, it came true.

Felton, McCants and May
Are off to the NBA
Leaving a team
That is less than a dream
Roy Williams will have bad day

I've been saving this pic for a special day. And I think this is the special day I've been waiting for. Here's Roy Williams having a bad day.

But, I'm not bitter or anything.

April 22, 2005

Spanking in Tampa

Taking Greg Beato's advice, and not being in the mood to post anything of consequence today, I checked out Google's new search capabilities and went trolling for spanking-related places in Tampa. And you know. It's gonna be a long weekend too.

Here's what I found:

Perhaps the weekend won't be so long after all.

April 21, 2005

Yoda and Condi, On The Dark Side


Yoda and Condi, both ponder the Bush Administration's
agenda and the insuing economic implications.

"Fear is the path to the dark side... fear leads to anger...
anger leads to hate.. hate leads to suffering"

South Carolina Representatives Prefer Cocks Over Wives

Since I don't have all the details on these nifty little pieces of legislation, I can't really support one or the other. But it does seem highly suspicious that the committee members would make cock fighting a felony while keeping criminal domestic violence a misdemeanor.

A bill protecting cocks (note: tee-hee) passed through the
House Judiciary Committee. Rep. John Graham Altman (R-Dist.
119-Charleston) was in favor of the gamecock bill, "I was all for that.
Cockfighting reminds me of the Roman circus, coliseum."

A bill advocates say would protect victims against batterers was tabled,
killing it for the year. Rep. Altman is on the committee that looked at
the domestic violence bill, "I think this bill is probably drafted out
of an abundance of ignorance."

Kara Gormley from WIStv attempted to interview Rep. John Graham Altman
to gain a better understanding, but he neglected to explain anything to
her. Instead, he just rudely insulted her, and made himself look like a
real idiot, and one that condones domestic violence.

Rep. Altman responds to the comparison, "People who compare the two
are not very smart and if you don't understand the difference, Ms. Gormley,
between trying to ban the savage practice of watching chickens trying to
kill each other and protecting people rights in CDV statutes, I'll never be
able to explain it to you in a 100 years ma'am."

News 10 reporter Kara Gormley asked Altman, "That's fine if you feel you
will never be able to explain it to me, but my question to you is: does
that show that we are valuing a gamecock's life over a woman's life?"

Altman again, "You're really not very bright and I realize you are not
accustomed to this, but I'm accustomed to reporters having a better sense
of depth of things and you're asking this question to me would indicate
you can't understand the answer. To ask the question is to demonstrate an
enormous amount of ignorance. I'm not trying to be rude or hostile, I'm
telling you."

Gormley, "It's rude when you tell someone they are not very bright."

Altman, "You're not very bright and you'll just have to live with that."

Isn't that just precious. An elected representative in South Carolina behaving like an eight year-old.

Perhaps Mr. Altman has something to hide. I would think it would be fairly easy to explain the "number of legal and technical problems that would have made it very difficult to pass." But Mr. Altman wasn't interested in that. Maybe he just wanted to bash a female journalist. With goals like that, it's no wonder the bill didn't get approved.

via Majikthise

The Return of Unnatural Carnal Copulation to the Military

I can't tell you how excited I was to see this!

The office of the general counsel at the Pentagon has proposed decriminalizing consensual sodomy among adults, a change to its 55-year-old policy on sodomy that would bring the military legal code more in line with laws that govern civilians, according to a memorandum sent to Congress, the New York Times reported Tuesday.


Under Article 125 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice, it is a crime to engage in "unnatural carnal copulation with another person of the same or opposite sex," even with mutual consent.

If anyone would like to join me at Fleet Week this year to celebrate, let me know! Helloooo Sailor!

The Weakest Argument for Overturning Roe v. Wade I've Ever Heard

Let's say that the state of Texas makes a law that men have to be kicked in the balls once a day. Now a lone Texan comes along and doesn't like that law. He takes it to the Supreme Court of the United States of America. The Supreme Court, after carefully studying the Constitution, decides that each man should get to decide for himself if and when he wants to be kicked in the balls.

Now, because of this decision, a huge politcal rift is created. The Pro-Ball-Kickers and the Anti-Ball-Kickers.

And then a 'journalist' comes along, and blames the Supreme Court for the huge political divide that was created and all the nastiness between the Senate Pro-Ball-Kickers and the Anti-Ball-Kickers. The Supreme Court had to make a decision one way or another, and they made the decision that made the most sense. Men should not have to be kicked in the balls. Each man should get to decide whether he gets kicked in the balls or not.

Now, I can see, if you were a big fan of Ball-Kicking, how you could take the angle of blaming the Supreme Court for putting a damper on your Ball-Kicking activities, but blaming them for yours and other's politcal viciousness? Come on David Brooks, you're stretching it a bit. We all need to take responsibility for our own actions, whether we are Ball-Kickers, Democrats, Republicans, or abortion clinic bombers.

If your teacher tells you that you can't chew gum in class, you can't blame her if you beat somebody up at recess, even if gum chewing is involved.

UPDATE: The Rude Pundit goes after Brooks too, but in a much more poetically than I.

What a complete misunderstanding of history, of the workings of the American government, what a fuckin' blame-the-victim mentality. Let's toss this around for a moment or two. Why blame the Supreme Court? Why not blame the Texas legislature, which had outlawed abortion, thus forcing Norma McCorvey to go to court in order to overturn the law? Why not blame Richard Nixon, for appointing Harry Blackmun and Lewis Powell to the Supreme Court? Or Ike for appointing Potter Stewart and William Brennan? Or how about blaming the sperm that nuzzled with the egg in McCorvey's womb? The penis from which the sperm spewed? Do you see the absurdity of attempting to isolate Roe v. Wade?

April 20, 2005

Square Dancing With Putin

Who let the toot fly
who let it go?
Who let the toot-toot

Swing your partner
Watch her go
Our democracies are just for show

We'll teach you how to fake
freedom of the press
If not for your teeth
You'd look hot in that dress

What Book Are You?

The fine fellers from the Tattered Coat, alerted me to the What Book Are You? quiz.

Ellen, this one is for you, since we all know how much you like quizzes. Not memes, but quizzes.

I'm Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

"After stumbling down the wrong turn in life, you’ve had your mind opened to a number of strange and curious things. As life grows curiouser and curiouser, you have to ask yourself what’s real and what’s the picture of illusion. Little is coming to your aid in discerning fantasy from fact, but the line between them is so blurry that it’s starting not to matter. Be careful around rabbit holes and those who smile to much, and just avoid hat shops altogether."

The New Food Pyramid

Greg Beato thinks the U.S. Department of Agriculture is up to something a bit sinister with the new food pyramid.

Sure, the new USDA food pyramid may look harmless, or maybe even "healthy." But it doesn't take a professional sin-sniffer quivering with Christ-love to see what's going on here. Once again, homosexual activists have hijacked a trusted icon of sensible nutrition to brainwash schoolkids into thinking sodomy is a perfectly wholesome alternative to lunch at McDonald's....And while it never explicitly mentions "homosexuality," it's gayer than a pair of chintz ass chaps, and riddled with homosexual code-words like "meat" (homosexual for cock), "nuts" (homosexual for big, heavy balls) and "milk" (homosexual for man syrup). Nice try, fruit-lovers! The boycott starts now.

I knew those lunch ladies were up to something. Now I see they are just part of the vast gay conspiracy.

Condi, On How Russia Needs an Independent Media

This is a hoot:

Speaking in an interview on the radio station Ekho Moskvy, (Condoleezza) Rice renewed charges that Russia had some distance to go in developing its democracy, including allowing the growth of an independent media free from Kremlin pressure.


"There should not be so much concentration of power just in the presidency, there needs to be an independent media ... so that the Russian people can debate and decide together the democratic future of Russia," she said in reply to questions from the public sent in to the radio station via the Internet.

That's the funniest thing I've read all day!!!! Hoo-Hoo!!!

It's not like the Bush Administration tries to influence the media. Or heaven forbid, encourage the paying of pundits to proselytize for their agenda, provide dressed up "news releases" to the media which get shown or recited verbatim, or actually have a TV station available to all cable and satellite TV subscribers devoted to spreading propaganda. Heavens No, they would never do that! But those darned Ruskies. It's them that need to work on their independent media.

Hello Pot? This is the kettle. You're Black!

Pope Penis Thumb

Norbizness points out that then new pope's thumb looks a wee bit phallic.

You know how your uncle always does that "Gotch yer nose" thingy when he's trying to cosy up to you and get you to sit on his lap?

Well, I'm afraid our new pope may have been doing the "Gotch yer tally-whacker" thingy.

Catholics everywhere should be proud, as he is an inspiration to priests everywhere.

April 19, 2005

God Help Us

First, they claim not to campaign for the pope's position, like politicians do, when they really do all kinds of nasty mud-slinging.

Then they elect a pope determined to take the catholic church in a direction "toward more intolerant and authoritarian dogma."

And now, they think this is the Virgin Mary. Her vagina, maybe. But certainly not the whole Mary.

God help us on the reproductive rights issue, if they can't even identify a vagina when they see one.

via Blondsense

Wal Mart the Welfare Queen

As it turns out, Wal Mart is the biggest welfare recipient in the state of Florida.

In Florida, Wal-Mart has 91,000 employees. Every time an uninsured Wal-Mart worker goes to the ER and can't afford to pay for treatments, all Floridians are picking up the bill. Meanwhile, our Medicaid system is in crisis. ...

Five employers in Florida account for 29,000 Medicaid-eligible individuals (employees or dependents). Wal-Mart's share represents 42 percent of that group.

So there's Wal Mart, sittin' on her front porch eating her WIC approved moon pie and Sam's Choice Diet Cola with her two snot nosed chil'ins, ASDA Group Limited and THE SEIYU, LTD. running around all willy nilly with their saggy Sam's Choice diapers.

Cashin' those welfare checks and buying her a new stereo and one of the those new fangled HDTVs with the flat panel and all those cheap foreign plastic trinkets. Her baby's daddy, Sam's Club ain't around much, but he's sending his child support every month like a good daddy. She be givin' the crack whore next door bus tokens so she'll leave her and her chil'ins alone. And takin' the chil'ins to the emergency room for pink eye and lice while the Florida tax payers git the shaft.

Now Wal Mart knows darned good and well that if she paid her employees a living wage, then the Florida tax payers wouldn't be in such a pickle, picking up the slack for her and her chil'ins, but she just don't care. She's gittin' all rich and livin' high on the hog, and givin' some o' those riches to the church of Tom DeLay and Bill Frist and Jeb! in hopes that she can keep livin' the high life on Easy Street.

Yep, Ol' Lady Wal Mart gittin' fat and happy.

Cardinals Get the Munchies

After two days of 'deliberations', the conclave of
cardinals send out for eggrolls, snickers bars, and
those yummy mozzarella cheese sticks. What are they
really smoking in the Sistine Chapel, and what's
with all the secrecy??

Matt Drudge - Self-loathing and An Arrogant Horse's Ass

Now, I've never been a real big fan of the Drudge Report. I can get links o' plenty to news from many, many other sources. And I like reading blogs for the analysis and snark that you just can't get from traditional news sources. But all Matt Drudge does is provide link after link after link. Rarely is there any original commentary or perspective. So where the heck does he get off saying this??

He is no fan of the blogging phenomenon (weblogs linking sites): “I don’t read them. I like to create waves and not surf them. And who are these influential bloggers? You can’t name one because they don’t exist.”

No influential bloggers??? Come on, Matt. Don't you read the news? Or maybe you just read the headlines. Or perhaps you're been too preoccupied with the Michael Jackson trial to know about the media attention and readership that bloggers like Kos, Atrios, AmericaBlog and even the ambiguously gay bloggers at Powerline get.

But if you read the article closely, this fella makes $650,000 pounds a year. Good grief! I know he works hard reading news all day long, but all that just for a bunch of links. Geez!

April 18, 2005

Killing Two Memes With One Post

Tagged Again. Twice! First by PSoTD. Then by Ricky. How lucky can one girl get??

So here goes:
PSoTD wants to see my eyes, but refused to show me his big toe. I don't think that's fair, but being the good sport that I am, I'm holding up my end of the bargain. But until he shows me a pic of his big toe, I'm just posting one eye.

UPDATE: PSoTD was kind enough to post his big toe here. It's not the full frontal toe I was hoping for, but none the less, it is a toe. Go check it out!! And here's my second eye. It's shaded because of my ornamental headgear.


And Ricky. Well, he sent me a host of tough questions. So, I might as well start.

Three Screen Names You Have: Cookie Christine (my porn star name. First pet, first street), Sister Happy Tails Flogger™ of Compassion, and ricky. ok, maybe not the real ricky

Three Things You Like About Yourself: I’m a darn good sailor (if you ignore the above collision), I’m smart, and by golly, people like me.

Three Things You Dislike About Yourself: My gawd awful big nose, That I spend way too much time filling out these memes and my tiny feet because I have to buy little girl’s shoes.

Three Parts of Your Heritage: Swedish, Irish, English

Three Things That Scare You: Ann Coulter, people who think Ann Coulter is funny, and people who think Ann Coulter is hot.

Three Everyday Essentials: water, sunshine and reading blogs

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now: Black sandals (size 3), a daily moisturizer with sunscreen, and a really big smile.

Three Favorite Bands/Artists: Green Day, R.E.M, U2 - These are probably my favorite bands of all time. I like other different stuff, but it's more fleeting. These bands have held my interest for more than ten years.

Three Favorite Songs At Present: Common People – by William Shatner and Joe Jackson

Are you sure you want to live like common people?
You want to see whatever common people see?
You want to sleep with common people?
You want to sleep with common people like me?
But she didn’t understand,
she just smiled and held my hand.

Do it Again – Stroke 9

You’re instantly awake in my imagination
Old-fashioned infatuation
I can be anything that you want me to be
And you can have me in every position that you dreamed

And I’m kinda diggin’ the remake of Under Pressure by The Used and My Chemical Romance

Three Things You Want To Try/Do In The Next Twelve Months: Not get fired for blogging at work, make it to Key West for a weekend and mud wrestle Ricky

Three Things You Want In A Relationship: Speedos, ornamental headgear, and Strike King Bitsy Bug Jigs.

Two Truths And A Lie: I used to own a hippie store in college. I ate live sea urchin on the beach in Bali. I’m ecstatically happy that Roy Williams finally won him a National Championship two years after leaving Kansas.

Three Physical Things About The Opposite Sex That Appeal To You: cute rather than handsome, big hands, and disease-free is always a plus.

Three Things You Just Can't Do: Unscrew the oil plug from my lawn mower, Stop daydreaming. Date a republican. I tried about a year ago. When he told me he thought Ann Coulter was funny, I had to break it off.

Three Favorite Hobbies: Sailing, reading, and anything spanking-related

Three Things I Want To Do really Bad Right Now: Watch the movie I checked out from the library, Waiting For Guffman, finish this damn meme-thingy and eat some fresh strawberries.

Three Careers You Have Considered: Brewer in Dominica where those poor folks can’t afford mass-produced imported beers, Webmaster for a gambling site, Wonder Woman (I love her shorts!)

Three Kid's Names You Have Considered: I figure I’d name them after some of my favorite bloggers. Atrios-Rod Kos, Jesus-General-Ezra Marbo, and of course Ricky Jr.

Three Things You Want To Do before You Die: Meet that guy in Seattle that spanks people that Jesus’ General always talks about, remove Charlton Heston’s gun from his cold, dead hands, and see the Jayhawks win another National Championship.

Three People Who Have To Take This Quiz Now: I don’t think I’m gonna pass these ones on. But feel free to add yours in the comments if you are so inclined.

George Bush Finally Discloses His Social Security Plan

"Telling younger workers they have to save money in a 1930s retirement system is like telling them they have to use a cell phone with a rotary dial," Bush said.

I couldn't agree more. Getting your guaranteed payment for the social security money you've been contributing since you started working is so passe.

The Wicked Witch of the Right

I still just can't seem to fathom why Time Magazine would put Ann Coulter on the front page. I just can't. I feel a bit disillusioned and a little sick to my stomach. She is the embodiment of pure evil. She encourages all that is wrong with American and the Bush Aministration. Why, oh why, does Time Magazine hate America. Every time she speaks, a baby dies.

But thanks to Think Progress, we have a nice listing of some of her more prominent lies and distortions.

And not only is she mean, dishonest, rude and pathetic, she's vain. She's upset about the photo they used. Maybe she thinks her legs looks too pale or dry. Who knows. Here's the image that she seems so upset about. I can't figure out why.

Girls Gone Wild

When he's not planning world domination and government-uterus
control, he's defending the honor of his bitches. Miss Beazley
yearns for a some hot Barney-dog-on-dog action, but Mr. Bush
refuses to allow Barney anywhere near her. Jenna and Barbara
recount similar experiences.

Blood Types

This from MSNBC:

Type-O people were described as outgoing, expressive and passionate. Type-A were considered introverted perfectionists while type-AB were an unpredictable, distant lot.

And then there was type-B. They were considered independent spirits with strong personalities.

How about that? I'm an introverted perfectionist. I would have never guessed.

Tom DeLay Wants His Friends to Be Armed

What, for the love of god and all that's holy did Tom DeLay mean when he said this at an NRA convention?

"When a man is in trouble or in a good fight, you want to have your friends around, preferably armed. So I feel really good"

If you are one of Tom DeLay's friends, you should go shoot a judge to show your loyalty? Yeah. That's the ticket. Violence Rocks!! Deadly force is great way to solve problems!! Whether it's that annoying old lady diving slowly in the left lane, or a supreme court justice that doesn't bow to your every whim. Yay shooting people!!!!

Since he's come under quite a bit of fire for his anti-judge comments, I would think he should ought not say things like that. Let's say that after 9/11, an Islamic person made a comment like that, he'd be in Guantanamo getting his testicles shocked on a regular basis and playing naked man pyramid. Maybe Tom DeLay needs a similar attitude adjustment.

April 15, 2005

Yoga Schmoga

I'm sure we're all familiar with the yoga craze. It's really quite popular now. What should be a way to relax, stretch and gain a clearer perspective on your one's life has grown into some kind of monster.

I've been to a few yoga classes, and I could say they were enjoyable. Very relaxing and helped me concentrate. But a religion, it is not.

A friend of mine who agreed to give his opinion only on the condition of anonymity, for fear of reprisals from all those yoga crazies out there, had this to say:
...what's with the yoga craze, all of a sudden? We don't believe
in anything, but we're quite happy to magpie the buzzwords of
the mystics as a way of justifying our egotism? I don't think
so, Bhoddisatva. Also, the drawstring pants and the rolled up
pastel mats are just too precious. I can't put my finger on it,
but they seem to signify something rather insidious somehow.

There are mommy and baby yoga classes now. How silly is that? First of all, infants are way to young to get anything out of a yoga class, so I think we can assume it's for the mom. Now, a new mom who is stressed out and dealing with a new baby, is not going to relax, concentrate on her breathing, and get the full benefits of yoga when she's holding her infant.

One time, at band camp yoga class, we had a substitute yoga teacher that did and said some pretty goofy things. I was a bit taken aback, and almost collapsed into a giggling fit when she asked us to relax our sphincters. I'm not sure if there were other ten-year-olds in the class, but oddly enough, I was the only one laughing. If there had been babies in the room, I would only hope they would participate and do as told.

Then there's all the new "yoga fashions" that are out there. Shouldn't yoga be about focusing on yourself, breathing rhythmically, stretching and not worrying about what others think of your appearance. It is so not about looking like a super model or impressing your fellow classmates. And when you do make it about that, well, it defeats the purpose. It's not even about being good at yoga, it's about going through the processes that give you that warm, mushy, smiley, I just got out of yoga class feeling.

"Some of the positions in yoga can be kind of embarrassing," says studio owner Jodi Brennan of Rochester, N.Y. "I've seen shorts that are too big, but I've also seen the really super-tight ones. That's kind of gross — especially on a guy."

I'm pretty sure this is so not what those Brahmans and Vedic priests had in mind 5,000 years ago when they developed this stuff.

What To Do if You Can't Get Your Kid to Eat

So you've tried coaxing, begging, fun foods, favorite foods, making it a game, bribing, yummy deserts if you finish all your peas, etc, etc, etc, and still can't get your child to eat?? Well read this. I think the Bush Administration could be on to something.

Let Them Eat Bombs

...And not just bombing, but capturing and torturing their fathers,
humiliating their mothers, shooting at them from road blocks - but none
of it seems to do any good. Iraqi children simply refuse to be better
nourished, healthier and less inclined to die. It is truly baffling.


A report to the UN human rights commission in Geneva has concluded
that Iraqi children were actually better off under Saddam Hussein than
they are now. This, of course, comes as a bitter blow for all those of
us who, like George Bush and Tony Blair, honestly believe that children
thrive best when we drop bombs on them from a great height, destroy
their cities and blow up hospitals, schools and power stations.

It now appears that, far from improving the quality of life for Iraqi
youngsters, the US-led military assault on Iraq has inexplicably
doubled the number of children under five suffering from malnutrition.
Under Saddam, about 4% of children under five were going hungry,
whereas by the end of last year almost 8% were suffering.

These results are even more disheartening for those of us in the
Department of Making Things Better for Children in the Middle East
By Military Force, since the previous attempts by Britain and
America to improve the lot of Iraqi children also proved

So those in the Department of Making Things Better for Children in the Middle East By Military Force are looking for more ideas, if you have them please send them to

And this is why we at the department are appealing to you - the
general public - for ideas. If you can think of any other military
techniques that we have so far failed to apply to the children of
Iraq, please let us know as a matter of urgency. We assure you that,
under our present leadership, there is no limit to the amount of money
we are prepared to invest in a military solution to the problems of
Iraqi children.

Lessons in Abstinence

For those of you little heathens out there that have trouble keeping your 'urges' in check, I highly recommend this site. It will help keep you pure and chaste. (warning: some of the photos on this site may not be safe for work. Of course that depends on where you work. There's no nudity, but some are a little racy.)

Here's some excerpts:

Okay, let's say you're at a party innocently hugging or kissing someone and find your hands begin to wander or your groin start to press rhythmically against them: Don't Panic! This is the Lord's way of saying that this is exactly the right person for you to spend the rest of your life with. In practically no time at all you'll be settling down and having lots of children together in a celebration of goodness and obedience to each other and the Lord. Until that time however, what's important is that you not let them get away! Masturbating each other through your clothing or underwear is a good way to keep faith partners both chaste and interested during those critical few weeks before you get married.


For the gals: When hugging or kissing your faith partner, you may have noticed a little something getting hard inside his pants. It's called the penis and it means he wants to marry you! It's perfectly safe so long as he keeps it inside his pants. You can grab it, stroke it, squeeze it, or rub yourself against it like a fevered dog. Trust us, he won't mind a bit! Simply continue to rub, squeeze and fondle your faith partner through his jeans until he promises to marry you. It's that easy!

I also highly recommend the Ask Dr. Frist section and the Anal Abstinence section. A girl can learn a lot from this!

via Eschaton

Today is Bart's Birthday!

He's two today. And as you can see, we went out to celebrate last night!

April 14, 2005

Peak Oil

No you perverts. It's not some new-fangled sex-jelly that will help you peak quicker or more powerfully, it's a post from Ezra about world oil production, prices, cartels and boring stuff like that.

He links to what he calls a "quick and dirty" (hmmm...) primer on the subject. A good little read for little girls like me that have little tiny brains or that spend more time making jokes than learning hard facts. Go read it. It's good for you.


Evidently, this is a new rape prevention device.

I don't know about you ladies, but I'm sticking with the buddy system and my can of mace.

via Feministing

Ten-year-old Female Wrestler Wins Two Consecutive Boys State Championships

This girl is tough!

Makeba Elliott, an honor student at Blackhawk Elementary in Park Forest, has won two consecutive boys' state wrestling championships. Last month, the Park Forest fifth grader -- whose quickest takedown was in 18 seconds -- ended a 54-5 season by taking top honors in the boys' 2005 Midget State Championship. She also won the boys' midget championship in 2004.

Now, as some of you know, I've always been a fan of girls wrestling boys, but mainly in jello, mud and grits arenas rather that school gymnasiums.

Makeba said she plans to stick with wrestling for a while because: "I like to see all the boys crying and their coaches yelling at them. I like to show them girls are as good as boys."

I think this girl has potential!

via Brutal Women

The Legacy of the Bush Administration

No, it's not depleting our natural resources without searching for alternative renewable sources, or attempting to dismantle social security, or running up the biggest deficits in history.

They've got slime-mold beetles named after them!

"Three new beetles of the genus Agathidium have been named after members of the current administration: A. bushi, A. cheneyi and A. rumsfeldi.

Two former Cornell University entomologists, Quentin Wheeler and Kelly Miller, were in charge of naming 65 new species of slime-mold beetles, which they discovered while studying the insects’ evolution and classification."

Evolution??? Funny. These guys don't even believe in evolution, do they?

According to this article, slime beetles get their name because they feed on fungi-like molds. Like religious conservatives, corporate media and Halliburton maybe?

Scalia and the Backdoor Draft

Far be it from me to spread unconfirmed rumors, but then if they were confirmed, then they wouldn't be rumors, now would they?

Based on this little exchange, I think we can all assume that Antonin Scalia and the missus engage in a little backdoor draft, if ya know what I mean.

WHEN U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (above) spoke Tuesday night at NYU's Vanderbilt Hall, "The room was packed with some 300 students and there were many protesters outside because of Scalia's vitriolic dissent last year in the case that overturned the Texas law against gay sex," our source reports. "One gay student asked whether government had any business enacting and enforcing laws against consensual sodomy. Following Scalia's answer, the student asked a follow-up: 'Do you sodomize your wife?' The audience was shocked, especially since Mrs. Scalia [Maureen] was in attendance. The justice replied that the question was unworthy of an answer."

Comedy Central Presents - Donald Rumsfeld

Billmon has a nice little ditty about what a hoot Donald Rumsfeld is.

People often think satire is easy, but it's really not...Which is why it really frosts my shorts when a fossilized old bureaucrat like Donald Rumsfeld pops up in Baghdad and delivers -- seemingly without effort -- howlers like this one:

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, on a surprise visit to Iraq, warned the country's new interim leaders on Tuesday against political purges and cronyism that could spark "lack of confidence or corruption in government."
Cronyism. Lack of confidence or corruption in goverment. From Donald Rumsfeld. Secretary of Defense in the Bush administration. Totally deadpan, too. Not a hint of a smile. And with perfect timing.

The sick freakin' bastard makes political humor look like child's play (actually it is child's play, but you know what I mean.) With one deft line, he managed to mock not only himself, but the president and vice president of the United States, the U.S. Congress, the incoming World Bank president, the next U.N. ambassador and the entire corporate media elite.

I don't really have anything to add to this, it just made me giggle. And I hope it makes you giggle too!

He may be a demented old war criminal, but he's a funny demented old war criminal. And in my book, that still counts for something.

I've Been Tagged By Ricky!

No, not like that, but a girl can dream, right? Another meme has made it's way to me, and being the good citizen that I am, I figure I'd answer the call this time.

Behold, the Caesar’s Bath meme! List five things that people in your circle of friends or peer group are wild about, but you can’t really understand the fuss over. To use the words of Caesar (from History of the World Part I), “Nice. Nice. Not thrilling . . . but nice.

I've got a few circles of friends, and each one has their unique themes that I just don't get. So, we'll start with....

1. The Drunks - "Last Night was a train wreck." With these folks, every night is a train wreck. But it's the same story every time. "We stayed out drinking until 3am, got more beer, went back to the condo and watched the sun come up. So and so and so and so hooked up." "Why is the horizon moving?" "Oh, I guess the cruise ship is coming in and the horizon isn't moving, oops." And if I have to hear "Beer has food value, but food doesn't have beer value" one more time..... Now, I like to go out and tie one of from time to time, but not seven days a week for gods sakes.

2. Sailing Folks - They are all in these 'crewes.' They are clubs that donate to a few charities and they cost more than $500/year I think. Some are more prestigious and expensive than others. You get to dress up like a pirate four or five times a year and be in parades and throw beads, and they have a few meet and greets, membership drives and a formal every year. Kind of an organized party group. I much prefer my partying to be as disorganized as possible (see #1). I'm also a spur of the moment kind of gal, and all this requires way too much planning.

3. Dog Park People - Well, I guess the one thing that they all have in common is dogs. So that's what they talk about. But I can only stand so much talk of doggie discipline problems, flea control products and breath freshening chewies. I love my dog, but should your dog really be the center of your life? I think not. But luckily with this group, there's some drama that is developing, so maybe the topics will change.

4. Co-workers - Reality TV. I don't watch it. I know nothing about it. I have no interest in it. And I have absolutely nothing to add to these conversations.

5. Now to be fair, I'm using #5 to say what it is about me that my friends "don't get." Blogging for one, none of them seem to get. None of them read my blog on a regular basis (good thing, because I kinda dogged on 'em in #1 - #4). So it's kind of hard to explain posts and comments and all the neat people I've met here in the blogosphere and the exhilarating colloquies that go on. You just have to be here, right? And yard work. Most of my friends live in condos and apartments. No one seems to be interested in chinch bugs and lawn mower maintenance. I'm not sure why....

Now I get to tag people! Woo-hoo! Mary, Rod from the Tattered Coat, and of course Jerry, because he thought he was getting out of it.

April 13, 2005

Evidently, I Went to the Wrong High School

Rush Limbaugh:When does he start up this stupid little network?
August? Yip yip yip yahoo. You know what Gore said about this? It's
going to be liberal. It's going to reflect the point of view of young

What the hell is that, Al? What the hell is the point of view of young
people? Blow jobs, that's what they're doing out there. They're out
there getting oral sex all day long, that's what they're talking about.
That's the point of view they can't wait that your boss,

Al made sure that's become the number one sport in high school today.
So, I guess you're going to have a BJ network out there, Al, is that
what you're going to do? You're going to call your network the oral
sex channel out there, start competing with MTV?

No, it's not going to have any of this stuff out there, folks, it's
going to be talking about liberalism, no, no, no, that's not what we're
about. Classic cannot even admit who he is.

Funny thing is, the kids whose progressive parents have taught them about birth control and responsibility are the ones that are most likely having condom-protected vaginal sex or waiting until they are ready for the responsibility. Unlike the wingnut's kids. Those are the ones that think having oral sex keeps them virginal.

via Eschaton

And if you'd like to complain to the FCC about this kind of filthy talk on the radio, you can contact them here.

Why I Don't Attend NASCAR Events

iFlipFlop provides a nice image of one of the many reasons that I don't attend NASCAR events.

via Tattered Coat

Jesus and the Little Lamb

Pissed off Patricia from Blondesense has a nice post about how the religious right is hijacking christianity.

When I was a little girl and attended Sunday school, my Sunday school teacher gave me a little picture. The picture depicted a kind and gentle looking Jesus holding a little baby lamb. I loved that picture because it was so sweet and it made me feel safe and good.

I was the same way when I was a kid. That picture represented to me that we were Jesus's little lambs and he would take care of us, protect us, and lead us in the right direction.

Then as I grew older, I saw and learned some of the horrible things that were done in the name of God and Jesus. The bigotry, the killing and the wars. That's certainly not a God I want to be associated with.

Then further down the page on Blondesense, Liz wonders why the mainstream religious folks don't put a stop to this madness.

One of my very first posts, back when I was a little girl, The Sunday School Party, deals with this topic.

So, I was thinking about changing the name of the Democratic Party to the Sunday School Party. In Sunday School they teach us to be nice to everyone, even icky boys, old people even if they smell funny, and boys who like other boys. They teach us not to lie about anything, especially WMD, ties to Al-Qaeda, and Haliburton. And not to steal things, like money, especially from people who don't have very much. And to help people and try to make sick people feel better, whether it's through better healthcare, cheaper prescription drugs, or new medical treatments and procedures. And to take care of the earth and all of God's wonderful creatures. And not to kill thousands of people. And to say you're sorry when you do something bad or make a mistake.

Shouldn't we all try really, really, really hard to be nice to each other instead of mean? It would really make the world a nicer and sunnier place.

Maybe the problem is that people that otherwise would be mainstream religious folks are leaving the church in droves for the same reasons that Patricia and I did.

Look What I Just Got in my Email Box!

That is soooo cool!!

Jack and Gary went up the Hill to fetch the President's Cup

George Bush and Jack Nicklaus gaze lovingly into each
other's eyes, while Gary Player of South Africa looks
on enviously, hoping this year he'll get to fondle the
President's, uh, cup.

Bolton -n- Westermann

Mr. Ford's gruff, direct and sometimes off-color manner took some
senators aback, as when he described Mr. Bolton's dressing-down of Mr.
Westermann by saying that "he reamed him a new one."

Such a statement begs the question 'what was wrong with his old one'?? But perhaps that is beside the point.

Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Carl W. Ford Jr., who was
assistant secretary for intelligence and research, said Mr. Bolton
was a "kiss-up, kick-down sort of guy" who "abuses his authority
with little people," and an ill-suited nominee to become ambassador
to the United Nations.

This John Bolton character doesn't seem like a very nice fellow and so not a good pick for a head diplomat-guy to the U.N. So, I looked up diplomat on, you know, just to check, and this is what I found.

One who uses skill and tact in dealing with others.

I really don't think he qualifies.

Anti-Gay Bias in the Military Hurting Our Global-Domination Plans

Why anyone would chose to fight in one of Bush's war's is beyond me. But that's just me. Some people feel differently and are just dying to go risk their lives for BushCo. Take Army Sgt. Robert Stout. A grenade left some schrapnel in his face, arm and legs. He got a purple heart, he's healthy again and wants to go back for more.

Only problem is, he's gay.

Given the state of the military, and the fact that they are running low on troops and recruiting and retention is down, I would think they need all the help they can get. So why not open it up to openly gay soldiers?

The military wastes a lot of money making sure that gay soldiers are either deeply closeted or ex-soldiers. According to a recent report by the Government Accountability Office, the services have spent $190 million recruiting and training replacements for gay service members kicked out during the past 10 years. More than 750 of the 9,488 men and women discharged from the military during that time, moreover, "held critical occupations"; many had training in languages important to the war on terrorism. The gay ban, in other words, is as self-defeating as it is demeaning to people who want to serve their country at a time of great need. It is long past time for it to go.

There is also absolutely no evidence that gay soldiers perform badly or effect morale. So I'd say that it appears that this anti-gay bias is hurting our world-domination plans. Does George know this?

P.E. Doesn't Mean Physical Education Anymore

My good buddy Ricky, provided a nice link to this nice Salon article. You gotta watch a silly ad first on Salon, but it's well worth it.

Apparently P.E. means Penis Enlargement, not Physical Education. And the uh-um, lengths, that these fellas go through to enlarge their penises are simply unbelievable.

...places a length of industrial plastic pipe across his thighs, pulls his penis up and over the pipe and slooooowly cranks it forward, like a winch


...And thanks to a routine that involves hanging 45 pounds of weight from his member for up to seven hours at a time...


...Mike twists his penis over and points to the stretch mark. And, sure enough, it is there, and it is nearly 5 inches long, pink and angry, a symbol of everything a man can aspire to.


"I'm submerged in penis," Mike says. "It's my full-time job"

Just make sure you come up for air every so often, OK, Mike?

And then there's women wanting to bring back silicone implants because they are cosmetically superior than the saline variety that is widely used today. But an FDA advisory panel voted 5-4 against lifting the ban on them.

The decision came after emotional testimony pitting woman against woman Monday: dozens who said implants broke inside their bodies to leave them permanently damaged, and others who want implants they say feel more natural to repair cancer-ravaged breasts or make their breasts bigger.

Now, I could understand folks wanting reconstructive surgery if any part of the body was messed up due to disease, and accident or a legitimate deformity. But simply for enhancement reasons? Why take the risk?? Is something like that really going to make your life better? Maybe working on your self-esteem and trying really hard not to be so shallow and judgmental of yourself and others would be a good step in the right direction, a lot safer and much cheaper.

Some of my friends have gotten breast implants, and I always try to be supportive. Because, really, who am I to insist that others should share my same values. When you get breast implants, you definitely get a lot more attention, and I believe that's what they are looking for. I think I get enough attention. Not too much, not too little. Mine may be a bit on the small-ish side, but they are perky by god, and I don't have to worry about poisons seeping into my chest or having banana boobs when I get older.

Why, oh why, are people so obsessed with their appearances? So obsessed that they would risk their lives to have bigger boobs or spend hours and hours a day doing painful penis-stetching exercises?

And one more question. What kind of search was Ricky doing when he uh-um, came, upon this article? I'm just askin'.

April 12, 2005

Grumpy Old Men

So I was walking my dog this evening down my street, and he paused to take a whiz on a neighbor's mailbox out by the street about five houses down.

We began to wander on, when the grumpy old man in the house opened his front door started screaming at me. There was a plane going over, and I couldn't hear him. So I put my middle finger up to my ear and asked 'What? I can't hear you.'

Grumpy Old Man: Your dog's peeing on my flowers.
Me: Uh, are those flowers? (small clump of something vaguely green with no bulbs encircled by a few cement stones)
Grumpy Old Man: This is my street!
Me: It's my street too.
Grumpy Old Man: I've lived here for 27 years
Me: I've lived here about a year and a half and it's very nice to meet you, Sir.

Generally, when something like that happens, I just say I'm sorry and walk away and steam for several hours. But this evening I was feeling a little feisty so I talked back to the old man. It was really quite liberating.

What is it exactly that makes people so grumpy? I would never freak out if a dog was peeing in my yard. And if you have a mailbox out by the street, wouldn't you just assume that dogs are going to pee on it?

Your Quiz For the Day

Which one is more evil?

A.      B.

Thanks to Wonkette and dNext for the fine photo of our president.

Marxist, Leninist, Satanic Principles Drawn From Foreign Law

Bob Harris has a nice link to a nice diagram that explains pricisely what Edwin Vieira was talking about when he said this: Edwin Vieira told the gathering that [Supreme Court Justice Anthony] Kennedy should be impeached because his philosophy, evidenced in his opinion striking down an anti-sodomy statute, "upholds Marxist, Leninist, satanic principles drawn from foreign law."

I was confused at how sodomy and Marx and Lenin and Satan and Foreigners all fit together, but this diagram makes it perfectly clear. I was slightly befuddled, that he put dirty eskimo nose rubbing in the 'foreign' section, as I hear there is a lot of that sort of thing going on in the great state of Alaska, but the rest looks pretty good!

Study it closely. There may be a quiz later.

Crazy Wingnuts

So, I've been thinkin' a lot lately about these crazy wingnuts. You know, the ones that play up to the religious right and want to kill judges and keep PVS patients alive for ever.

Here's some of the crazy things they've said lately, and this is just from one article from The Nation.

  • "I'm a radical! I'm a real extremist. I don't want to impeach judges. I want to impale them!"

  • "Ronald Reagan said the Soviet Union was the focus of evil during the cold war. I believe that the judiciary is the focus of evil in our society today."

  • Removing Terri Schiavo's feeding tube was "an act of terror in broad daylight aided and abetted by the police under the authority of the governor. This was the very definition of state-sponsored terror."

  • Joseph Stalin offered the best method for reining in the Supreme Court. "He had a slogan, and it worked very well for him whenever he ran into difficulty: 'No man, no problem.'"

  • The rising tide of threats against judges "is understandable, but we have to take the opportunity to channel that into a constitutional solution."

    My theory is that it's a strategy by Karl Rove and friends to make George Bush and the world-domination crowd appear middle of the road. And in a sense, as far as the social issues go, I 'spect they are near middle of the road. Bush doesn't really care that much about gay marriage does he? He's driven my his greed, and the gay marriage issue doesn't really help him much, unless it keeps Dobson and the gang sending him money.

    But suggesting we kill or impale judges is not just radical and extreme politics, it's criminal. And if criminal behavior like this is considered "sort of, maybe, a little bit on the fringe," then we are really in trouble.

    Just the other day, in response to DeLay's mean statements ("The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior") about judges, Bush said "I believe in proper checks and balances." In fact if I were George Bush, I might be a little worried about the Legislative Branch declaring war on the Executive branch next. So, in two years or so, I'm bettin' that we'll be hearing things from the main stream media like "we need a moderate republican like George Bush for president. Not one that wants to kill judges"

    I must admit, this whole threatening to kill judges spectacle has certainly taken a lot of press away from the fact that we are a nation at war for no apparent reason.
  • April 11, 2005

    Ariel Sharon's Visit To Crawford in Pictures

    A warm Crawford, TX welcome. George offers
    Mr. Sharon some nice chocolates with Israeli
    flags on them. 'WTF?' thinks Mr. Sharon,
    'is this some kind of ploy to butter me up??
    Like I need any more sweets'

    A little male bonding. "Now, here's what I do.
    I get out the jar of Skippy, then you know, ol'
    Barney just licks it right off ya. Helps me sleep
    at night if the little lady has a headache."

    Good 'ol Southern Hospitality. And then
    Mr. Sharon gets pushed down the stairs,
    rolled under the bus, and his plea for
    help with the Jewish settlements is denied.
    "Y'all come back now, ya hear?"

    What's In His iPod??

    Since this article in the NY Times came out about what Mr. Bush has in his iPod, there's been all kinds of jibber jabber out there in the blogosphere anayzing what it all means.

    I'm not sure what disturbs me the most.
    1. The filthy lyrics of My Sharona? 'Always get it up for the touch of the younger kind, my my my woooh!' Uh, gross. Is he into little girls?? Ewww.

    2. One of his aides download the music for him? Does he have them blow his nose for him too?

    3. The fact the Fortunate Son ('I ain't no senator's son ... Some folks are born silver spoon in hand') helps 'get him over the next hill' when he's bike-riding. Sorry, but Daddy can't help you now.

    4. Joe Levy, a deputy managing editor at Rolling Stone indicated his affection for both Alan Jackson and George Jones represents 'a little bit of a taste for hard core AND honky-tonk' Huh??? Which one is hard core and which one is honky-tonk. I'm confused.

    But now, when he has that far away look in his eye, and you think he might be practicing his multiplication tables, trying to remember where left his copy of My Pet Goat, or fantasizing about cowboys and indians, he's probably just singing Centerfield in his head and wishing the other world leaders would shut their pie holes and let him talk.

    Do They Allow Dogs at Rick Santorum's Fundraisers?

    I was reading this from All Spin Zone, and I see that Senator Rick Santorum canceled a Social Security meeting 'out of respect' for the Schinders, to be here in Tampa a few weeks ago raising money for his re-election in support of keeping Terri Schiavo alive.

    He may have jetted off to the Pope's funeral, and met with the Holy Father FIVE times, but his cancellation of a Social Security Meeting in late March in order to grandstand outside the hospice where Terri Schiavo was dying was not so holy. You see, Mr. Santorum may have cancelled what he considers the nations business, of reforming Social Secuirty, but he had a whole bunch of political business he did not cancel down there in Florida -- meetings to raise money for his reelection.


    There was a luncheon in Orlando and a dinner in Miami on March 29 with Florida Sen. Mel Martinez, a luncheon in Tampa March 30...and a dinner that night in Palm Beach hosted by execs from Revlon.

    The trip was made on a Wal-Mart jet paid for by Santorum's campaign fund.

    Total take, according to Santorum finance director Rob Bickhart, was about $250,000 (en route to an April 15 FEC filing expected to show the senator with close to $3 million already).

    So, my question is, next time he comes down here and has another fundraiser, because I'm sure he will, I mean he made $250,000, right? Can I bring my dog? I mean, Rick Santorum likes dogs, right? And I hate to leave Bart at home, especially when a United States Senator who loves dogs as much as Rick Santorum, is in town.

    Maybe he should have one of those dog parades, or a $1000/kibble-portion dinners, or owner-dog look-alike contests. That would really bring 'em out.

    Gimme a 'B', 'B!' Gimme an 'O', O!...

    Go Boobs!!!

    This artist, Ed Johnson, made this nice abstract painting of a topless woman. He had it hanging in the Lake County Administration Building in the great state of Florida.

    A county manager ordered that it be taken down recently because it was considered 'offensive." Well this county manager has resigned, and now he's allowed to put it back up.

    However, the artist is to afraid that it will be vandalized, so he's not going to put it back up.

    Johnson said he will not display "Royal Lady" at the Lake County Administration Building because he is now afraid that the exposure the piece has received might cause someone to intentionally damage it.

    As Feministing states:
    When will women's bodies be considered beautiful rather than shameful?

    It's really sad that a piece of artwork gets taken down because of, I'm guessing one person's complaint or a very few kooks that find it offensive. And now for fear of kook retaliation, the artist is afraid to display it in a public place There's nothing wrong with boobs! Heck, even I have two of them. Does that make me offensive?