It's Recess-time Somewhere

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July 08, 2005

Finally, Michael Schiavo Can Rest in Peace

After a fifteen year battle against the kook right, Michael Schiavo may finally get them to leave him the hell alone.

In what could be a final chapter in the legal saga of Terri Schiavo,
Pinellas-Pasco State Attorney Bernie McCabe says he could find no
evidence that Michael Schiavo caused his wife's collapse 15 years ago.

In a June 30 letter to Gov. Jeb Bush, McCabe suggested ending the state's
inquiry into the case.

Bush responded Thursday in a two-sentence letter to McCabe: "Based on your conclusions, I will follow your recommendation that the inquiry by the
state be closed."

What an embarrassment for the State of Florida. But now what? I wonder if there are any thirteen year old girls in state custody seeking abortions. What will Jeb's next assault on liberty and the constitution be?

1. Instead of offering traditional aid if you are effected by hurricanes this year, he'll have faith-healers come over and pray your roof back on.

2. Rather than educating women with unwanted pregnancies on their options, he'll have a government official yell 'Slut!' and 'Whore!' at the hussies until they decide to carry their babies to term and give them up for adoption to a nice white evangelical couple.

3. If you want emergency contraception, you must travel to Tallahassee and personally ask Jeb for it. Also, you must explain to him why you were having sex, who you were having sex with, what positions you were in and where you were at the time of the incident. Then, if you are under eighteen, you will be grounded for a month with no TV.

4. School children displaying any signs of homosexuality, such as boys on the swingset or girls being good at math, will be whipped mercilessly, then expelled.

5. Condoms will no longer be available in convenience stores, as condoms are not a convenience item. Also, you'll need a prescription and proof of marital counseling before you can purchase them.


  • At July 08, 2005, Anonymous ricky said…

    What a waste of money. Is this all the Bush boys do with taxpayer money? Throw it away and tear the nation apart in the process?

    What did we ever do to deserve these Bush morons?

    It was slavery, right? Or the Indians.

    God is still angry.

  • At July 08, 2005, Anonymous Ellen said…

    Cookie, I think the faith healers ARE working their little asses off in Punta Gorda. That's why nothing is fixed yet.


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