It's Recess-time Somewhere

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February 20, 2007

The Path to Freedom is Paved with Mixed Metaphors

Not unlike George Washington's heroic crossing of the Delaware and defeating the British in the bitter cold, George W. Bush ambled down the Potomac bundled up in his toasty black wool trench coat to pay homage to our first President by courageously laying some wreath thingy at his grave, and gallantly making some bold analogies.

Mr. Bush drew an analogy between the Revolution and what he called
“a new war to defend our liberty and our people and our way of life,”
wording that left unclear whether he meant the combat in Iraq or the
broader fight against terror.

“With the advantage of hindsight, it is easy to take George
Washington’s successes for granted,” Mr. Bush said after enumerating
Washington’s achievements as commander of the Continental Army and
later as president. But “America’s path to freedom was long and it was
hard,” he continued, “and the outcome was never really certain.”

As an honest American citizen paying taxes in 2007, I too sometimes get war confused with drunken anal sex. But you'd think that the President, our Commander in Chief, the Decider who sits on the front lines of his warm and comfortable oval office each day cogitating on his stellar approval ratings and how well things are going in Iraq might remember the difference.

With both the war in Iraq and drunken anal sex, you never really know for certain how long it's gonna last but you can feel in the pit of your bowels that it is most definitely long and hard.