The Prince of Darkness for Secretary of Defense

I've been hearing rumors that Rumsfeld might resign soon after the elections in Iraq on January 30th. At first I was thinking that's a good thing. He won't have to help clean up the mess in Iraq and it would also free up his schedule so he could be tried for war crimes.

But then I got a little scared thinking about all the other people that Bush has nominated for his cabinet for his new term as president. I thought Attorney General John Ashcroft was the purest form of evil as well as a horrible singer, but then I found out about Alberto Gonzales and how he lied about Bush's DUI and stuff and how he thinks torturing our detainees is OK.

And Colin Powell but didn't stand up enough for what he believed in, and then Bush goes and nominated Condeleeza Rice for Secretary of State. She likes to lie and stuff, and doesn't really believe in anything except that she's pretty sure she's just supposed to do what Bush tells her to do.

And then there's the Homeland Security post, which Bush tried to nominate Bernard Kerik for, and we all know just how naughty he was.

But I'm thinking that there may not be anyone out there that can match or exceed the vileness that Rumsfeld is. He has really outdone himself in the war-crimes and trying-to-go-around-the-law-to-be-mean departments.

So, for the new Secretary of Defense, my money is on Satan. I think Bush is going to break with precedent and nominate a non-human, Satan, for Secretary of Defense. I can just hear him "Secretary Beelzebub has always been a loyal ally and a great partner of mine in the struggle to spread freedom and liberty around the world, and I urge each and everyone of you Senators and Congressmen to vote to comfirm him."