You labeled me, I'll label you
"We put warning labels on cigarette packs because we know that smoking
takes one to two years off the average life span, yet we 'celebrate' a
lifestyle that we know spreads every kind of sexually transmitted disease
and takes at least 20 years off the average life span according to the
2005 issue of the revered scientific journal Psychological Reports," said
Rev. Bill Banuchi, executive director of the New York Christian Coalition.
The journal regularly publishes articles described by many mainstream
psychologists as misleading and faulty. The homosexuality morbidity study
was conducted by the conservative anti-gay Family Research Institute.
And according to AmericaBlog:
In fact, the "study" in question was done by Paul Cameron, the head of
a hate group - literally, the Southern Poverty Law Center has labeled
Cameron's group a "hate group" - Cameron was thrown out of the scientific
profession twenty years ago for his hate research. But that doesn't stop
the Christian Coalition from using hate literature and proposing Nazi
solutions to brand gays.
But since they are suggesting putting warning labels on people, I have a few suggestions of my own.
Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld: WARNING: May attach electrodes to you testicles
Senate Majority Leader, Bill Frist: Cats must stay at least 100 feet away
Rabid Anti-choice extremist, Neal Horsley: Mules must stay at least 200 feet away
U.S. Senator, Rick Santorum: CAUTION: May freak out unsuspecting AP reporters with allusions to hot man-on-dog action
Governor of Florida, Jeb Bush: WARNING: Voting for me may cause your uterus to become the property of the State of Florida
Ape Shit Windbag Propagandist, Bill O'Reilly: If found in the loofah section of Bed, Bath and Beyond, notify the authorities immediately
And while we're at it, why not put a real warning label on cigarettes. Don't we all already know that smoking is bad for our health? Tell us something we don't know.
WARNING: May cause a significant portion of your disposable income to be donated to the Republican party.
takes one to two years off the average life span, yet we 'celebrate' a
lifestyle that we know spreads every kind of sexually transmitted disease
and takes at least 20 years off the average life span according to the
2005 issue of the revered scientific journal Psychological Reports," said
Rev. Bill Banuchi, executive director of the New York Christian Coalition.
The journal regularly publishes articles described by many mainstream
psychologists as misleading and faulty. The homosexuality morbidity study
was conducted by the conservative anti-gay Family Research Institute.
And according to AmericaBlog:
In fact, the "study" in question was done by Paul Cameron, the head of
a hate group - literally, the Southern Poverty Law Center has labeled
Cameron's group a "hate group" - Cameron was thrown out of the scientific
profession twenty years ago for his hate research. But that doesn't stop
the Christian Coalition from using hate literature and proposing Nazi
solutions to brand gays.
But since they are suggesting putting warning labels on people, I have a few suggestions of my own.
And while we're at it, why not put a real warning label on cigarettes. Don't we all already know that smoking is bad for our health? Tell us something we don't know.
WARNING: May cause a significant portion of your disposable income to be donated to the Republican party.
posted by cookie christine @ 6/13/2005
7 Comments:
At June 13, 2005,
Anonymous said…
Actually, for Bill O'Reilly, if anyone sees a blotchy man in Bed, Bath and Beyond asking for the Falafel section, that's when you need to call the cops.
At June 13, 2005,
cookie christine said…
Or worse yet, I blotchy man in a Greek restaurant asking for a loofah section.
At June 13, 2005,
Anonymous said…
Frankly, those falafels kind of taste like loofahs to me--not that I've ever eaten one!
A loofah, I mean.
But it seems more hygenic to me to eat a loofah than to use a falafel for sex. In the shower.
Old food and aeration seems like you're just begging for a case of really nasty falafel crotch.
And they haven't even come up with antibiotics to deal with that yet.
Just condiments.
To, you know, season the symptoms.
At June 13, 2005,
Alicia Morgan said…
oops - wrong user - my cats took over...
At June 13, 2005,
cookie christine said…
Apply tzaziki liberally and call me in the morning.
At June 14, 2005,
cookie christine said…
Alicia, your cats are always welcome here! Everyone's opinion is valid and important. Just be very careful to keep them away from the not-so-good Dr. Frist.
Though I'm surpised they didn't mention hairballs as a side effect of seeing Bill O'Reilly.
At June 15, 2005,
Alicia Morgan said…
Cookie, I am told by Venus that hairballs only result from licking said object, which would never occur in the case of Bill O'Reilly. Mercury says that Bill O'Reilly does not have a sufficient amount of hair to result in a hairball.
And if either one of them encountered Bill Frist, I think he would end up as a Frist Filet Sandwich.
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