It's Recess-time Somewhere

Proud Member of the Reality-Based Sandbox

April 19, 2006

White House Spokesmonkey Resigns

Back in the day, there was Ali and Frazier, then Tyson and Holyfield, but for the past few years it's been Helen Thomas and Scott McClellan. Thomas boldly asking the questions that the other reporters are afraid to ask and righteously defending the public's right to know what the heck those guys in the White House are up to, while McClellan makes shit up, changes the subject and humbly apologizes for all of his master's shortcomings and failures.

Yes, Scott McClellan turned in his resignation today, and boy am I gonna miss him.

"I have given it my all sir and I have given you my all sir, and I will continue to do so as we transition to a new press secretary."

By "all," I assume he means hanging out in gay bars in Austin, TX and taking softball questions from male prostitutes.

I was nearly inspired to write him a good bye limerick, but couldn't think of much that rhymes with McClellan, Helen Thomas or wallop, so I'll defer to Mad Kane on that.

But I will leave you with this from last May. Get out your tissues and your teddy bear and reflect for a moment.

Q The other day -- in fact, this week, you said that we, the United
States, is in Afghanistan and Iraq by invitation. Would you like to
correct that incredible distortion of American history --

MR. McCLELLAN: No, we are -- that's where we currently --

Q -- in view of your credibility is already mired? How can you say that?

MR. McCLELLAN: Helen, I think everyone in this room knows that you're
taking that comment out of context. There are two democratically-elected
governments in Iraq and --

Q We're we invited into Iraq?

MR. McCLELLAN: There are two democratically-elected governments now
in Iraq and Afghanistan, and we are there at their invitation. They
are sovereign governments, and we are there today --

Q You mean if they had asked us out, that we would have left?

MR. McCLELLAN: No, Helen, I'm talking about today. We are there at
their invitation. They are sovereign governments --

Q I'm talking about today, too.

MR. McCLELLAN: -- and we are doing all we can to train and equip their
security forces so that they can provide for their own security as they
move forward on a free and democratic future.

Q Did we invade those countries?

MR. McCLELLAN: Go ahead, Steve.

...ah yes, the good 'ol days.