The 50 Most Loathsome People

The Beast, by way of Norbizness by way of Demagogue has made a nice list of the 50 most loathesome people in 2004. He's even nice enough for to tell us what punishment they deserve for their committing their special crimes. I'm not for sure if they are in order, but if they are, I think Ann Coulter should be placed slightly higher on the list.

Here's some of my favorites:
50. Ann Coulter

Crimes: Coulter plummets down the list as she slips into irrelevance.
As her columns degenerate further into absurd, incoherent attacks against
her own personal paranoid fantasy of fanged, drooling, Saddam-loving
liberals who hate America and childish France-bashing, we find our
outrage slowly giving way to a baffled “I can’t believe I used to go out
with you” feeling. Her arguments are ridiculous, her vitriol forced, her
hatchet face even harder to look at. Still, she insulted a one-armed war
veteran, called reports of the hundreds of tons of missing munitions in
Iraq false, claimed Wesley Clark was pro-infanticide, and blamed Abu
Ghraib on the presence of women in the armed forces—they’re not all
like you, Ann—and on and on. It’s just not worth debunking someone who
has no credibility in the first place.

Smoking Gun: Has credibility in the minds of more people than we can
stomach acknowledging.

Punishment: Skull crushed with rock.

8. John Ashcroft
Crimes: Promoting sexual shame, writing and singing alarmingly jingoistic
and terrible songs, flattening constitutional protections, detaining brown
people at will without charges or counsel, pretending to be a patriot, and intentionally ignoring terrorism in his pre-9/11 tenure.

Smoking Gun: Put a fucking curtain up to cover a naked breast on a
statue. A statue.

Punishment: Only heterosexual judge on the supreme court in 2035.

4. Dick Cheney
Crimes: So loathsome his own party is frightened of him. Manages to
deliver stunning lies with an air of sneering authority. Shamelessly
employs scare tactics in order to strip the federal government of any
resemblance to the one described in the constitution. So visibly evil
that all of the documented evidence against him is superfluous. The kind
of guy who starts talking cannibalism the minute he steps on the lifeboat.

Smoking Gun: Managed to make his own shame at producing gay offspring
into a negative for Kerry.

Punishment: Hacked to death by Mexican migrant workers.

3. You
Crimes: You gaze idly at the carnage around you, sigh, and go calmly back
to your coffee and your People magazine. You can’t stop buying useless
crap, though you’re drowning in a deepening pool of debt. You think you’re
an activist because you bitch all day on the internet, but you reelect the
same gangsters at a 99% rate. You consider yourself informed because
you waste a significant portion of your life watching the same three news
stories cycle over and over again on your gargantuan, aerodynamic
television set while you eat processed food. You really thought everything
would be okay if Kerry won. Not only do you believe in an invisible man
who magically farted out the universe, you also excoriate and marginalize
those who disagree. You have a poorer understanding of your country’s
foreign policy history than a third world peasant, but you can’t wait to
see what Julia Roberts will be wearing at the Oscars. You cheer as
Ukrainians challenge an election based on exit poll data, but keep
waiting around for someone else to fix your problems. You can’t think,
you can’t organize and you won’t act. This is all your fault.

Smoking Gun: You’re fat.

Punishment: You’re soaking in it.