It's Not Me, I Swear

This Craigslist posting via Wonkette is NOT ME. I Swear. I'm not that tall, not that heavy, I don't live in Washington D.C., and I don't have a boyfriend.

About me:
5' 5". 130 lbs. Hardcore Democrat.

About you:
A Republican and able to show proof of such (email from a congressional office, work ID card, whatever). Over 5' 8".

What I want:
I want to meet you in public for drinks to make sure that you are who you say you are. If this is the case and I get turned on by you, we head back to my place. I'll get down on all fours on the living room carpet. You'll push my skirt up and spank me silly...

[...]

What do you have to do?
This has to be next weekend, since my boyfriend will be out of town. If you're interested, send me an email WITH A PICTURE. If you do not send a picture, it will be deleted, unread. Tell me how you can prove that you're a Republican and why you want to do this to a Democrat like me. Do not use words like 'holla' or confuse 'their' and 'there'. That turns me off to no end.

And anyone who thinks it might be me, well, you're just wrong.