Lessons in Abstinence

For those of you little heathens out there that have trouble keeping your 'urges' in check, I highly recommend this site. It will help keep you pure and chaste. (warning: some of the photos on this site may not be safe for work. Of course that depends on where you work. There's no nudity, but some are a little racy.)

Here's some excerpts:

Okay, let's say you're at a party innocently hugging or kissing someone and find your hands begin to wander or your groin start to press rhythmically against them: Don't Panic! This is the Lord's way of saying that this is exactly the right person for you to spend the rest of your life with. In practically no time at all you'll be settling down and having lots of children together in a celebration of goodness and obedience to each other and the Lord. Until that time however, what's important is that you not let them get away! Masturbating each other through your clothing or underwear is a good way to keep faith partners both chaste and interested during those critical few weeks before you get married.

[...]

For the gals: When hugging or kissing your faith partner, you may have noticed a little something getting hard inside his pants. It's called the penis and it means he wants to marry you! It's perfectly safe so long as he keeps it inside his pants. You can grab it, stroke it, squeeze it, or rub yourself against it like a fevered dog. Trust us, he won't mind a bit! Simply continue to rub, squeeze and fondle your faith partner through his jeans until he promises to marry you. It's that easy!

I also highly recommend the Ask Dr. Frist section and the Anal Abstinence section. A girl can learn a lot from this!

via Eschaton