Wrestling for Jesus

When I read this, via The American Street, about a new-fangled way to recruit brand spanky new Christians through wrestling, I was quite impressed.

Of course Jesus' General has been doing it for quite some time now (in a completely heterosexual way, of course), so it's not all together a new idea.

But then I got to thinkin', what else could be done to convert the masses? If, as Ted "Million Dollar Man" DiBiase says, "Jesus told us to be fishers of men, and there are a lot of fish requiring different bait," then I've got some idears.

Smoking Crack for the Creator - just what they need
in theinner cities with lots of gang violence and drug problems.

Cock Fighting For Christ - Jesus doesn't mind a little
gambling and animal cruelty, when afterwards the participants
want to be saved.

Prostitutes and Johns United in Jesus - after they get
a little nookie, they can submit prayer requests and ask to be
forgiven.

Porn for the Lord - Porn sites that allow you to surf porn for
twenty minutes, then take you to a site where you can read about
others who have fought their porn additions with the help of the
Lord and their generous donations.

My First Mule - a day-long conference for young farm boys,
teaching the ways of mule fornication, followed by a luncheon and
bible study given by the ladies auxiliary.

Let me know if I left any out. I'm sure there are many more activities that could bring 'em in for the Lord.