Alito on Loftiness of the Law and Super-Duper Precedents

"No person in this country, no matter how high or powerful, is above the law," he said, "and no person in this country is beneath the law."

What's that all about?

Now if one can be neither above nor below the law, that must mean that everyone is on the same platitude as the law. Can we look the law straight in the eyes and say, "Hey bud, let's party?" Can we walk side my side with the law, holding hands and smooching, with neither of us ever taking the lead and neither of us ever falling behind. Can we live in harmony with the law, like yin and yang forever and ever?

It just seems too good to be true, what with Presidents wanting to spy on American citizens without a court order and such.

And then there's the case of the "super-duper precedents" and how they bring back fond memories of combing the supermarket aisles for the perfect laundry detergent.

"I personally would not get into categorizing precedents as super precedents or super-duper precedents," he said. "Any sort of categorization like that sort of reminds me of the size of the laundry detergent in the supermarket."

However, the size of laundry detergent that you purchase at the supermarket has really very little bearing on a woman's right to chose or the potential for the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade.

But, whatever. If we view these confirmation hearings as subtle comedy rather than as a step for our country in the Fascist direction, it really makes them more bearable. It's just a shame that Alito isn't as handsome and witty as John Roberts.