P.E. Doesn't Mean Physical Education Anymore

My good buddy Ricky, provided a nice link to this nice Salon article. You gotta watch a silly ad first on Salon, but it's well worth it.

Apparently P.E. means Penis Enlargement, not Physical Education. And the uh-um, lengths, that these fellas go through to enlarge their penises are simply unbelievable.

...places a length of industrial plastic pipe across his thighs, pulls his penis up and over the pipe and slooooowly cranks it forward, like a winch

[...]

...And thanks to a routine that involves hanging 45 pounds of weight from his member for up to seven hours at a time...

[...]

...Mike twists his penis over and points to the stretch mark. And, sure enough, it is there, and it is nearly 5 inches long, pink and angry, a symbol of everything a man can aspire to.

[...]

"I'm submerged in penis," Mike says. "It's my full-time job"

Just make sure you come up for air every so often, OK, Mike?

And then there's women wanting to bring back silicone implants because they are cosmetically superior than the saline variety that is widely used today. But an FDA advisory panel voted 5-4 against lifting the ban on them.

The decision came after emotional testimony pitting woman against woman Monday: dozens who said implants broke inside their bodies to leave them permanently damaged, and others who want implants they say feel more natural to repair cancer-ravaged breasts or make their breasts bigger.

Now, I could understand folks wanting reconstructive surgery if any part of the body was messed up due to disease, and accident or a legitimate deformity. But simply for enhancement reasons? Why take the risk?? Is something like that really going to make your life better? Maybe working on your self-esteem and trying really hard not to be so shallow and judgmental of yourself and others would be a good step in the right direction, a lot safer and much cheaper.

Some of my friends have gotten breast implants, and I always try to be supportive. Because, really, who am I to insist that others should share my same values. When you get breast implants, you definitely get a lot more attention, and I believe that's what they are looking for. I think I get enough attention. Not too much, not too little. Mine may be a bit on the small-ish side, but they are perky by god, and I don't have to worry about poisons seeping into my chest or having banana boobs when I get older.

Why, oh why, are people so obsessed with their appearances? So obsessed that they would risk their lives to have bigger boobs or spend hours and hours a day doing painful penis-stetching exercises?

And one more question. What kind of search was Ricky doing when he uh-um, came, upon this article? I'm just askin'.