It's Recess-time Somewhere

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April 13, 2005

P.E. Doesn't Mean Physical Education Anymore

My good buddy Ricky, provided a nice link to this nice Salon article. You gotta watch a silly ad first on Salon, but it's well worth it.

Apparently P.E. means Penis Enlargement, not Physical Education. And the uh-um, lengths, that these fellas go through to enlarge their penises are simply unbelievable.

...places a length of industrial plastic pipe across his thighs, pulls his penis up and over the pipe and slooooowly cranks it forward, like a winch


...And thanks to a routine that involves hanging 45 pounds of weight from his member for up to seven hours at a time...


...Mike twists his penis over and points to the stretch mark. And, sure enough, it is there, and it is nearly 5 inches long, pink and angry, a symbol of everything a man can aspire to.


"I'm submerged in penis," Mike says. "It's my full-time job"

Just make sure you come up for air every so often, OK, Mike?

And then there's women wanting to bring back silicone implants because they are cosmetically superior than the saline variety that is widely used today. But an FDA advisory panel voted 5-4 against lifting the ban on them.

The decision came after emotional testimony pitting woman against woman Monday: dozens who said implants broke inside their bodies to leave them permanently damaged, and others who want implants they say feel more natural to repair cancer-ravaged breasts or make their breasts bigger.

Now, I could understand folks wanting reconstructive surgery if any part of the body was messed up due to disease, and accident or a legitimate deformity. But simply for enhancement reasons? Why take the risk?? Is something like that really going to make your life better? Maybe working on your self-esteem and trying really hard not to be so shallow and judgmental of yourself and others would be a good step in the right direction, a lot safer and much cheaper.

Some of my friends have gotten breast implants, and I always try to be supportive. Because, really, who am I to insist that others should share my same values. When you get breast implants, you definitely get a lot more attention, and I believe that's what they are looking for. I think I get enough attention. Not too much, not too little. Mine may be a bit on the small-ish side, but they are perky by god, and I don't have to worry about poisons seeping into my chest or having banana boobs when I get older.

Why, oh why, are people so obsessed with their appearances? So obsessed that they would risk their lives to have bigger boobs or spend hours and hours a day doing painful penis-stetching exercises?

And one more question. What kind of search was Ricky doing when he uh-um, came, upon this article? I'm just askin'.


  • At April 13, 2005, Anonymous Jerry said…

    )Great...a chance to rant on this without embarrassing myself by posting on my own blog!)

    Yeah, what is this boob bubbling? Did a flock of 1950s Playboys get loose, and shit all over the landscape?

    In fairness, I am a small tit fan...always have been. But I used to work at a prestigeous LA hospital, and sometimes my job included the onerous job of doing before, surgical procedure, and after photos of breast enlargements. Women (and girls...seems like girls that used to get a nose job for their sweet sixteens were getting boob jobs instead!) would come in with cute, perky little tits, and leave with pendulous globes.

    I also did surgical photograhy of implant removals. Too bad they don't show clients both photos of the implant procedure, and/or the removal procedure and it's consequences. That would stop a lot of women cold!

    Whatever happened to, "First, do no harm?"

  • At April 13, 2005, Anonymous Jerry said…

    And, yeah, how would a noted bass fisherman stumble onto that?

  • At April 13, 2005, Blogger cookie christine said…

    I'm so very happy to provide you with a sounding board somewhere besides your own site. However, I think we have a lot of the same readers, so I'm guessing your rantings will be just as incriminating here as they would be there.

    But please, rant on freely and don't ever let anyone stop you.

    And I think we do need to hear what exactly brought Ricky to that article. Hmmmmmm.

  • At April 13, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What brought me to that article?

    I'm a liberal, Christine. I'm always interested in the have-nots.


  • At April 13, 2005, Blogger cookie christine said…

    I seeeeeee. Well that is very altruistic of you, Ricky. I always knew you were a nice boy.

  • At April 13, 2005, Anonymous Jerry said…

    Oh, come on! The last thing you were hoping for from ricky is that he is a "nice boy!"

  • At April 13, 2005, Blogger cookie christine said…

    good point! I guess I was kinda hoping that he'd be really good at being bad.

  • At April 14, 2005, Anonymous Ellen said…

    Sometimes it's fun to be a fly on the wall

  • At April 14, 2005, Anonymous ricky said…

    Ellen, if you think it's fun to be a fly on the wall, you should see what goes on down on the carpet!

    And did I mention my ornamental headgear?


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