Fair and balanced, my ass

Bill O'Reilly and the staff at Fox News have been busy makin' shit up about the Houston Chronicle.

On The O'Reilly Factor cable television program Tuesday night, the
popular host included a segment that took the Houston Chronicle to task
for an editorial that had run the same day. The editorial was entitled
Cold comfort: Florida's sex offender law has emotional appeal, but it's
not the best way to stop sexual predators from preying on children.

At the start of the segment, O'Reilly stated that the Chronicle had "taken
a lot of shots at me, so it must be left of center." O'Reilly's name has
appeared only once in a Chronicle editorial, which concerned not O'Reilly,
but Fox News' suit against Al Franken for his use of the phrase "fair and
balanced." The suit was thrown out of court.

O'Reilly told his viewers that the Chronicle editorial said the Florida law
was too harsh. He was mistaken. The editorial excerpts that O'Reilly
projected on the screen said nothing about the harshness of the
punishment. The editorial, citing extensive research on this subject, said
hooking GPS monitors to sexual predators released from prison might
prove less effective than closer supervision by parole officers and other
low-tech strategies. The Chronicle did not call for lighter punishment; it
called for the adoption of the most effective measures to protect our
children.

And there's more in the article, so go read it if you are so inclined.

Since they want to make shit up, I figure that I should make shit up about Bill O'Reilly. In the spirit of Fair and Balanced reporting, or course.

1. Greta Van Susteren, wielding a ten-inch strap on and a flogger was caught in the news room 'punishing' Bill O'Reilly

2. Bill O'Reilly is one of those few men that can suck his own cock. He did a demonstration for his coworkers in the men's room last week.

3. Bill started a food fight in the Fox News cafeteria on Monday, and had to be escorted out by security guards. His recess privileges were taken away for a week, and he had to write 'Throwing my falafel around all willy nilly is very naughty' a hundred times on the blackboard.

4. The cleaning crew found an odd apparatus in Bill's waste basket last night. A white tube sock, full of semen and vaseline with duck tape wrapped around it. Next to it in the trash can, was a loofah and magazine called 'Thank Goodness for Little Girls'

If you can think of anything I left out, feel free to add it in the comments.

And in a related story, Fox News reports that during the plane flying in restricted airspace in D.C. debacle, the RNC (Republican National Committee Headquarters) had to be evacuated, but neglected to mention that the DNC was also evacuated.

And in another related post, August Keso laments the ratings decline of the O'Reilly Factor.

Hearts are breaking all 'round the nation. Right-Wing Radicals -- today's average Republican supporter -- and Jihadist's for Jesus are crying themselves to sleep, and young female television producers everywhere are sighing in relief. Bill "Phone Masturbator & Woman Harasser" O'Reilly's ratings have plummeted...he has lost a full third of his viewing audience. Awe, so sad! What will the country do without being lectured every year about there not being enough Christ in Christmas by a perverted, lying upper-middle-class ass who fronted being a poor boy from the "wrong side of the tracks"?

I too, was saddened to hear the news.