It's Recess-time Somewhere

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November 23, 2005

John Bolton on One Night Stands

I generally don't take relationship advice from scary rabid United Nations "diplomats," but in this case, I feel I might be able to learn a thing or two from John Bolton.

Looking a questioning reporter straight in the eye, Mr. Bolton said "reform is not a one night stand, reform is forever".

This got me to thinking. If reform isn't a one night stand, can a one night stand still reform someone?

I strongly believe that waking up with a raging headache, an itch of indeterminate source and ambiguous stains on your skivvies, might prompt one to make some life changes -- or reform, if you will. However yelling and screaming and throwing staplers at your panties will not make the stains go away, will not make you a better person, and will not make you choosier in your late-night hookups.

No, that would require a some woolite, the gentle cycle, a little soul searching and a 12-step program.

Similarly, I afraid that John Bolton is not going to be able to yell and scream and throw things, at the Security Council to get them to do his bidding. That requires diplomacy -- which unfortunately is something he's never learned.


  • At November 23, 2005, Blogger BaltimoreLenore said…

    "I strongly believe that waking up with a raging headache, an itch of indeterminate source and ambiguous stains on your skivvies, might cause one to make some life changes"

    Oh I am so gonna quote you on that one!

  • At November 23, 2005, Blogger Neil Shakespeare said…

    lol! "...throwing staplers at your panties..." That might just work for Bolton.

    NEWSFLASH: STAPLER SHORTAGE AT U.N. - The United Nations is undergoing an unexplained shortage of staplers. A spokesperson for Kofi Annan stated that the investigation of the stapler thievery has been narrowed down to the U.S. delegation.

    "We believe Mr. Bolton has been stealing them and taking them home for panty practice.

  • At November 24, 2005, Anonymous mary said…

    Ugh! Can you imagine just having to sit down next to the Stapler. We have to come up with a super non-hero suit for the Stapler. Hmmm.

  • At November 24, 2005, Blogger cookie christine said…

    ok, neil, here's your opportunity to make an image of a nice botticelli-ish woman walking down a hall with a bright red stapler being thrown at her.

    or maybe you aready did that a few months ago, and i missed it.

    all she wanted was a one night stand, but she got a stapler thrown at her. it just doesn't seem right.

  • At November 27, 2005, Blogger Neil Shakespeare said…

    geez, can't find a picture of a gulldurn red stapler nowhere. i know they were made popular by that movie. maybe i'll find one yet.

  • At November 27, 2005, Blogger cookie christine said…

    you aren't trying hard enough. here's one


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