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November 23, 2005

Recall Ronda Storms

I was somewhat amazed that Hillsborough County Commissioner, Ronda Storms had the capacity to write, as I was under the impression that when she picks up a pencil, pen or keyboard, she uses these items to poke little kids eyes out or beat cute puppies over the head. However, upon reading her little ditty in the Tampa Trib (via Sticks of Fire), I can assure you that the pain I felt was just as acute as I imagine the suffering to be of those innocent puppies and children.

Sadly, she is attempting to justify her actions last week, and the ensuing harm they have caused a handful of children throughout the Tampa Bay area. But this time, not only does she insult us with her way-the-fuck-out-of-the-mainstream kooky politics and "morals," she offends our literary sensibilities and logical reasoning skills as well.

Scrape the flubber of your sneakers, Ronda cuz there's just no way the rest of us are going to make this leap.

I don't know the going price for the innocence of a child, but the Tribune would seem to sell it for the ridiculously low price of $500...

This photo was of a child model posing for a photo, fully clothed, smiling with a toothy grin promoting a children's charity event. Her innocence was not in the least bit compromised.

And when you use misplace your thesaurus and use the same terms over and over, at least come up with ones that don't sound both dirty and pious at the same time.

...their names appeared beside this sordid entity...
...the sordid entity had paid a paltry $500...
...who the sordid entity gives money to.
...as far as possible from that sordid entity...
...with a peddler of female flesh...
...associated with either a peddler of female flesh...
...peddler of female flesh was arrested...
...the hard-core Internet pornographer and peddler of female flesh.

It gives the impression that you are a repressed lesbian porn-a-holic with a poo-eating fetish, and that can't be good for your future political career.

Given that Ronda is making a mockery of Tampa and Hillsborough County and her noxious fire-breathing rhetoric is now polluting the local newspaper, I think the only choice is to begin a recall. They did it for the governorship in California. I don't see why we can't do it here.

UPDATE: Commenter Sturm from Sticks of Fire seems to think that the only reason we could recall a county commissioner would be "for nefarious illegal acts." And that "Stupidity, bigotry, bad temperament, ill manners and the like are not legal enough reason," which would really be a bummer.

5 Comments:

  • At November 23, 2005, Blogger rod said…

    My death metal band is going to be called Sordid Entity.

    Also, Ronda Storms actually can't write. Here is Exhibit A from her "article":

    "Concerned about the propriety of associating that child in specific and abused children in general with a peddler of female flesh, I contacted the three other sponsors to raise my concerns."

    "In specific"? "Peddler of female flesh"? The National Enquirer has better writing.

     
  • At November 23, 2005, Blogger cookie christine said…

    my girl band is going to be called Female Flesh Peddlers and we'll have a hot cartoon chic on a bicycle for our logo.

     
  • At November 23, 2005, Blogger Addison said…

    The real question is....
    "What's she REALLY angry about?" Normally when someone becomes enraged, it's because they see something of it in themselves.

     
  • At November 23, 2005, Anonymous tiny said…

    You guys are quick. Now I have no idea what I'm going to call my female death metal bicycle team?
    t

     
  • At November 28, 2005, Blogger rod said…

    You could call it the Rhonda Storms.

     

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