It's Recess-time Somewhere

Proud Member of the Reality-Based Sandbox

August 30, 2005

I Want My MTV

This really gets me in a tizzy.

Martin, a former White House aide to President Bush, has been meeting
privately with evangelical activists to assure them of his commitment to
change the television landscape. The government does not regulate shows
distributed over cable or satellite television for indecency. Similarly,
there are no indecency limits on the content of satellite radio, where
shock-jock Howard Stern sought refuge and will begin broadcasting next
year. But in one session this summer, Martin told activists that he is
privately reaching out to industry leaders to address racy content on basic
cable and satellite television, says Rick Schatz, the president of the
National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, a
Christian ministry. "He said the free rein of cable and satellite and
satellite radio is not acceptable," says Schatz, who sat in on the meeting.
"He's committed to seeing something is done during his tenure."

Not because Kevin Martin is so stupid to think that the government should get to regulate private airwaves, or that there are already several options out there like the v-chip for folks that want to filter out the naughty stuff, or because people can chose whether they want to have the naughty channels and are required to pay a premium for them, or that they can similarly chose whether to allow their children to watch the naughty channels, or because if something offends them, they can just get up off their asses and change the channel or turn the TV off.

No, what's really fucked up about that is the Kevin Martin and Family Research Council legal director Patrick A. Trueman have the audacity to think they should decide what's right for me and everyone else in this country. For the love of god and all that's holy, if I want to watch midget anal hot tub orgies, I should be allowed to watch midget anal hot tub orgies.

Do we need a constitutional amendment for this? What the hell do we have to do, to keep these loonies out of our bedrooms?

How does this sound?

Article XXVIII

Congress shall make no law respecting the viewing of midget anal hot tub orgies, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of listening to potty mouth shock-jocks, or of naughty words in general; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and watch midget anal hot tub orgies, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances if they infringe on our constitutional right to view midget anal hot tub orgies.


  • At August 30, 2005, Blogger kelley b. said…

    I suspect people that want midget anal hot tub orgies will still be able to find them.

    However, it may be more difficult to find mindless fun viewing that shows young people questioning authority while appearing the slightest bit attractive, or anyone doing anything that wouldn't be acceptable in Disneyland.

    Unless, of course, its war porn or Conan the Barbarian stuff.

    Karl Rove loves those muscle guys doing manly things to each other.

  • At August 31, 2005, Anonymous Ellen said…

    Jailbird #1 (in overcrowded cell): What are you in for?

    Jailbird #2 (alias Cookie): Watching midget anal hot tub orgies.

    Jailbird #1: My neighbor reported me - under the Patriot Act - listening to Howard Stern...

  • At September 01, 2005, Blogger Johnny Virgil said…

    ARGH! I hate stuff like this. They always say "it's for the good of the children." Damn, that frosts me. Maybe parents should maybe, oh I don't know, take some responsibility for their childen, and while they're at it -- themselves.


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