It's Recess-time Somewhere

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January 30, 2006

The Real State of the Union Address Party Pack

One of my operatives sent me a link to this site, where the clueless can purchase pro-Chimpy party packs for their State of the Union Address watch parties.

However, upon further investigation, I found all they have available in their party packs in 'W' hats, stickers, stadium cups and yard signs.

Very 2005, if you ask me.

We didn't just elect president this year, we are apologizing for the failures of the one we elected last year.

Big difference.

So, what we really need is a party pack consisting of the following:

1. Electronic surveillance equipment (to spy on your neighbors)
2. Coat hangers (for do it yourself abortions)
3. Handy-Dandy "Return Your Abramoff-Tainted Campaign Donations" Kit
4. Deferment papers (To support the Iraq War, you needn't fight in it. Geez.)
5. Anal lube (only for those not in the top 1% income level)

Please let me know if I forgot anything. It is late in the afternoon and I haven't started drinking yet.


  • At January 30, 2006, Anonymous Ben said…

    My friend's sister sent him flavored anal lube and fat porn when we were in Iraq. He said the lube tasted like barbeque beef tips.

  • At January 30, 2006, Blogger sideshow bob said…


  • At January 31, 2006, Anonymous tiny said…

    6. Roll of chain link fence for your very own 'free-speech zone".

    7. "Remove your house from Google Maps" software. (Windows compatible only)

    8. "Dozen Extra Hands" so Republicans can keep count of all the 9/11 references.

  • At January 31, 2006, Blogger AJ said…

    9. A 'Get out of Jail Free' card for Delay, Ken & Jeff.

    10. A logical interpretation of the Constitution of why future government 'encouraging' young adults to serve their country or go to jail, is really a choice, ergo, not a draft.

    11. Testimony of dozens of Afghans, Iraqis and other ex-Moslems of the benifits of converting to Christianity, therefore suggesting the logic that our troups are *really* only over there to save souls, and not for silly imperialistic conspiracy theories.

    12. After every State of The Union Address, everyone is allowed to take their clothes off, roll around in Vaseline, and get drunk!

    Great idea Cookie!


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