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January 25, 2006

Sex Advice From the Pope

The Pope, who has taken a vow of chastity and most likely has never had sex, is giving sex advice. In fact he wrote 71 pages on the topic.

In the 71-page document "God is Love," Benedict explored the
relationship between the erotic love between man and woman, referred
to by the term "eros," and the Greek word for the unconditional,
self-giving love, "agape" (pronounced AH-gah-pay).

He said the two concepts are most unified in marriage between man and
woman, in which a covetous love grows into the self-giving love of the
other, as well as God's unconditional love for mankind.

So here's a question for all you married folks out there. Did you have better sex before you were married or now? Hot steamy passionate dirty sex with someone you're crazy about or boring old married-person sex with someone who won't do the dishes and insisted that you change you schedule to pick up the kids? Yup that's what I thought.

"Eros, reduced to pure 'sex' has become a commodity, a mere 'thing' to
be bought and sold, or rather, man himself has become a commodity."

Au contraire your holiness..... It's free, with the exception of birth control and the cost of those roofies that your cousin gave you. Yessiree, It's free, it feels good, it relieves stress, it can curl your toes and if you do it right, you just might see God.


  • At January 25, 2006, Blogger sideshow bob said…

    Hey, who knows more about sex than a celebate Italian weirdo?

  • At January 26, 2006, Blogger Neil Shakespeare said…

    So that's what the all encompassing love of god is like? Old married couple sex? Geez. Well, maybe if he didn't try to be so all encompassing. Maybe he could be just half encompassing or something.

  • At January 26, 2006, Blogger Fixer said…

    I always got a kick out of my Catholic friends going to pre cana before they get married. I'd ask them; 'you're getting marriage and relationship advice from a man who's never been married and never had sex? Ho-kay...'

  • At January 26, 2006, Anonymous King Spirula said…

    Considering he is a celibate and a former Hitler Youth, I'm betting his understanding of sex is pretty distorted.

  • At January 27, 2006, Blogger Gordon said…

    Of course he's had sex, probably with young boys. He was a priest, after all.

  • At January 30, 2006, Anonymous Ben said…

    For Hot steamy passionate dirty sex email :)

  • At January 30, 2006, Blogger cookie christine said…

    You know I might have, but I've met your wife, and I'm afraid she could probably kick my ass.


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