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January 02, 2006

St. Pete Times Hearts Katherine Harris

The St. Pete Times has gone and done it again. This impressive show of fair and balanced reporting may even persuade Bill O'Reilly to take them off of his list. In this nauseating ode to Katherine Harris and through their infallible investigative reporting, they have uncovered the secret to her 16 hour days of partisan hackery, baby eating, exhuberant make up application and exessive flirting with married Republican Congressmen from Arizona.

At a committee hearing that has deviated from the typical staged
discussion into a debate on border security, Harris passes the time
reading text messages on her phone and sipping her ever-present
Starbucks. Slipping between meetings, which are often scheduled at
the same time, a staffer sometimes greets her in the hall with a
replacement coffee - triple venti latte, no fat, no foam, two
Sweet'N Lows.

Yes, she drinks triple venti lattes all day long.

She voted to cut corporate taxes $137-billion over 10 years. She
supported amending the Constitution to prohibit same-sex marriage. She
voted for the Medicare prescription drug benefit and against the
importation of prescription drugs. She voted for a ban on partial-birth
abortion except to save a woman's life.

Now all Katherine needs, besides more money and a little support from other Republicans, a stapler to throw at her disgrutled staffers and a new campaign manager, is a nickname given to her by our Preznit. Then she needs to be told she's doing a heckuva job.

Former staffers complain about Harris' management style, describing
her as a politician who is friendly to everyone - lawmakers, constituents,
lobbyists - except her staff.

"She is bubbly to the outside world. But when it comes to her staff, she
saw us as her servants," said Kathy McCord , a Harris spokeswoman from
her days as Florida secretary of state.

But if she doesn't make the cut for U.S. Senate this year, there's always John Bolton's post at the U.N. Remember, he's just there temporarily because of a recess appointment.


  • At January 02, 2006, Blogger Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said…

    Once again, the enemy aiding-and-comforting St. Pete Times has seen fit to sling elitist mud at a true American heroine. Consider...

    Rep. Harris, as FL's Secretary of State, patriotically stood firm against sore-loser Democrats in 2000, thus bestowing upon our great nation the fabulous leadership of one George W. Bush...

    Harris achieved her greatness despite being denied her due inheretence from her family's humble citrus business, "thanks" to the socialist "death tax"...

    She has single-handedly saved the domestic cosmetic industry, ravaged by punishing EU tariffs and incessant eco-terrorist attacks, from certain ruin.

    The future Senator desrves our praise, not some schlock-job by a communist rag.

  • At January 02, 2006, Anonymous mary said…

    So it's coffee that's giving her the bouncy boobs. Maybe that would be a good name Buoncy Boobla! Welcome back. Hope you got Kansas all sorted out.

  • At January 03, 2006, Blogger Neil Shakespeare said…

    She just doesn't get enough credit for singlehandedly electing the president of the United States. Yeah, I know that baby-eating thing weighs a little against her, especially with the Anti-Abortion crowd, but they can forgive her for that as long as it's just live babies and not fetuses. Welcome back to the sandbox, Christine.


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