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January 31, 2006

The Alternative Lifestyles SOTU Address Game

For those of you that tire of the same old boring drinking games, want to try something different, or simply can't stop drinking during George Bush's speeches long enough to tell someone else to drink, here's one for you. It comes highly recommended for fetishists, exhibitionists and bored college students.

So here's whatcha gotta do. Be the first person to shout "I'm moving to Canada!" when Bush says the following words or phrases, then do what it says:

Equality: Trade underpants with the person on your left
Freedom: Take off your clothes and run down the block and back
Torture: Pick someone to take their pants off, point and laugh at their genitals
Terror: Wiggle your naughty bits in the face of the person on your right
Medicare or Health Savings Plans: Find the oldest person in the room and take away his/her medication
Iraq: Find the brownest male person in the room, handcuff him and attach electrodes to his testicles, then smear menstrual blood on him
Surveillance: Log on to the host/hostesses computer and tell everyone what they've been looking at on the internets
Social Security Personal Accounts: Stick a 30 inch dildo up the orifice of the person on your left

And the bonus phrase:
Justice Alito: Provided you have a poo-eater or water sports aficionado in attendance, have him/her explain to everyone why he/she enjoys it so much

Given that you play this game during the State of the Union Address and drink Wild Turkey continuously, afterwards you won't give a hamster's patootie about the State of the Union.


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