Friday Bart Blogging - April 28, 2006

Bart thinks that in addition to three kitties, there might be a Karl Rove indictment back there behind the shed.

There's Something Fishy About This "Bold Package"

When I heard that Republican Senators were going to unfurl a "bold package," I thought it might have something to do with this. (click the link for better viewing.)

But alas, it's just another hair-brained scheme to buy votes without doing anything about fixing the problem for the long-term.

Guess What I've Got Living in My Backyard

If anyone local wants one, let me know and I'll cover shots and spaying or neutering.

Drinking Liberally - Be There or Be Square

Clear your schedule kids, for Drinking Liberally!! It's at 7:30pm Wednesday, April 26th at New Word Brewery, 1313 E 8th Ave in Ybor City.

Rumor has it, they're having a book/DVD exchange going on, so perhaps you can get your hands on that new Paris Hilton video. I'm sure that's exactly what they have in mind.

If you're new to New World Brewery, they've got great pizza, Blue Moon Ale's are only $2.50 on Wednesdays, there's free parking on both sides of the building, and the bartenders are all hotties.

I'm also bringing Bart the Beagle. He's really ticked about about the White House's energy policies and needs to vent.

Putting the "Moron" Back In Oxymoron

In a shocking display of ingnorance, irrationality and contradiction, after arriving in a 14-vehicle motorcade, George W. Bush gave a speech yesterday to the Renewable Fuels Association stating that he's going to ease environmental regulations on fuel such that refiners need not mix ethanol into their fuel so that they can get gasoline to consumers quickly.

Easing the environment rules will allow refiners greater flexibility
in providing oil supplies since they will not have to use certain additives
such as ethanol to meet clean air standards.

Then further into the speech he says that we need to increase the use of alternative fuels like ethanol.

...he called for increased conservation, an expansion of domestic
production and increased use of alternative fuels like ethanol.

He may allude to the fact that we need to use more renewable fuels, but his policies say the exact opposite. His focus is on insuring the unimpeded flow of cash to the oil companies rather than the long-term sustainable flow of energy resources to the people who really need it.

This is short-term thinking in it's proudest moment. Keep the oil companies fat and happy and contributing generously to their campaigns. Attempt to keep gas prices low enough to get people to not start voting Democrat, so the Republicans won't lose the House or Senate after the mid-term elections. And continue to only pay lip service to a long-term solution.

Stealing Dinner Plates From Marines - A New Low for George Bush

After hearing that April may be the deadliest month so far this year for U.S. troops in Iraq, George Bush adds insult to injury and tries to steal this marine's dinner plate while vacationing in California.

Fear and Moaning in the West Wing

The Fear and Loathing that Hunter S. Thompson felt has now found it's way home to the White House and has morphed slightly along the way.

There is fear and moaning in the West Wing these days as Andrew Card
Jr., the genial father figure who promoted a family- friendly White
House, has been replaced as chief of staff by Joshua Bolten, a Goldman
Sachs-trained workaholic who is exposing President George W. Bush's
aides to market forces.

Unfortunately, the world's only superpower will now be expecting twelve hour days and not allowing it's staff members to take off early for their kids' school funtions.

With all this money and power we've nicked from exploiting the earth's resources, all the other countries and a whole buncha poor people, the least we could do would be use some our illicit wealth to treat the staff nicely.

But imperialism is "hard work" and we must be ever vigilant even if it is the children that will suffer.

Katherine Harris Goes "Nuclear" With College Boy

Ah to be young again...


...and hit on my someone older, creepy and completely loony.

"[Harris] took him by the hand and led him over to the bar and said she
wanted to have a 'nuclear' conversation with him...and wanted to 'talk about
nuclear technology.' Then she led him back to the table and sat him down,
sat next to him, and her foot was brushing against his foot, her knee was
half-an-inch away, she leaned in real close and started calling him 'honey.'"

[...]

"I had my face in my notepad a lot, because everytime I looked up she
was so close to me."

Hat tip to King Spirula for turning me on to this in the comments!

Friday Bart Blogging - April 21, 2006

Bart wakes up from a nap and wonders if Karl Rove has been indicted yet.

The Importance of Keeping Legislators Well Fed - Damn That Katherine Harris Can Eat Edition

When Katherine Harris isn't saying stupid embarrassing shit and asking her spokessheep to cover for her, she's dining high on the hog. Dinner for two at Citronelle -- for one Mitchell Wade, convicted of bribery and batshit crazy bribee Katherine Harris costs a hefty $2800.

In her interview Wednesday, Harris acknowledged for the first time
that Wade had paid for the dinner at Citronelle, reversing a statement
from her congressional spokeswoman earlier this year.

But in the interview, Harris also said her campaign had, at some point,
"reimbursed" the restaurant.

When asked how she could have reimbursed a business that was owed no
money -- Wade paid the bill that evening -- she abruptly ended the
interview and walked off.

Her spokesman called back an hour later and asked a reporter not to
publish anything Harris had said Wednesday night about the dinner.

On Thursday, Harris' campaign released a two-paragraph statement that
differed from her explanation a day earlier. It stated that Harris
thought her "campaign would be reimbursing" her share of the meal but
later found out that hadn't happened.

You really have to stay on your toes to keep pace with this mover and shaker. Both her creative use of hyperbole and her insatiable appetite for illegal campaign contributions and fancy dinners do indeed send the mind on a whirlwind journey into an abyss teeming with criminal behavior, incomprehensible misstatements and tasty appetizers.

Laura Bush - Making Babies Cry Since 2001

This doesn't quite fit in with my "Funny Looks Black Kids Give the Bushes" series as this child is noticably caucasian, but nonetheless, I offer this pic for your perusal. This little girl obviously understands the implications of what the Republican war on reproductive rights and their perpetual war mongering will do to her generation.

Georgie Fears a Hu

Oblivious to human rights abuses and the widening trade gap between the U.S. and China, George Bush has one thing on his mind. "That little Chinese bastard better not walk ahead of me during the photo session."

Why Would Anyone Want to Be Kansas AG If He Can't Be Privvy to Underage Sex Stories

It looks like Kansas AG Phill Kline might have to find some other way to get his willies. A federal judge ruled Tuesday that he cannot have unfettered access to records of "underage sex between consenting youths."

So in case Phill decides not to appeal, and has some extra time on his hands, so to speak, here's some suggestions for him.

1. Cozy up under a tree across from one of the many junior high schools in Wichita and read The Big M - A Biblical view of masturbation

The problem of masturbation is as old as human nature. It is something
that has troubled people for centuries and caused much personal
heartache to those ensnared in its habit-forming grip. Here is the
Biblical answer to this age-old dilemma.

2. Check out some local Wichita art exhibits, like this one. Surely there's some nekkidness in some if it to keep him entertained.

3. Start going after the real criminals and spending Kansas tax dollars fighting real crime.

And if he's still bored after all that, there's always the internets.

Katherine Harris's Boobs Aren't Empty, But it Sure Seems Like Her Head Is

Displaying her unfailing maturity yet still struggling with the same old boring cliches, Katherine Harris called Bill Nelson an "empty suit."

Nelson's spokesman resisted the urge to comeback with "I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you," and instead simply identified her barbs as "empty charges from an empty candidate with absolutely no ethics or credibility."

But I beg to differ. Her head may very well be empty, but those boobies of hers must be filled with something. Helium? Nitrous oxide? Anti-matter?

And further evidence that her head is decidedly empty, she has the audacity to call the offshore drilling bill sponsored by both Nelson and Republican Senator Mel Martinez "inane" and "poorly drafted." I could be way off on this, but shouldn't she be sucking up to the other Republican Senator in hopes of his endorsement, and not insulting his bills?

White House Spokesmonkey Resigns

Back in the day, there was Ali and Frazier, then Tyson and Holyfield, but for the past few years it's been Helen Thomas and Scott McClellan. Thomas boldly asking the questions that the other reporters are afraid to ask and righteously defending the public's right to know what the heck those guys in the White House are up to, while McClellan makes shit up, changes the subject and humbly apologizes for all of his master's shortcomings and failures.

Yes, Scott McClellan turned in his resignation today, and boy am I gonna miss him.

"I have given it my all sir and I have given you my all sir, and I will continue to do so as we transition to a new press secretary."

By "all," I assume he means hanging out in gay bars in Austin, TX and taking softball questions from male prostitutes.

I was nearly inspired to write him a good bye limerick, but couldn't think of much that rhymes with McClellan, Helen Thomas or wallop, so I'll defer to Mad Kane on that.

But I will leave you with this from last May. Get out your tissues and your teddy bear and reflect for a moment.

Q The other day -- in fact, this week, you said that we, the United
States, is in Afghanistan and Iraq by invitation. Would you like to
correct that incredible distortion of American history --

MR. McCLELLAN: No, we are -- that's where we currently --

Q -- in view of your credibility is already mired? How can you say that?

MR. McCLELLAN: Helen, I think everyone in this room knows that you're
taking that comment out of context. There are two democratically-elected
governments in Iraq and --

Q We're we invited into Iraq?

MR. McCLELLAN: There are two democratically-elected governments now
in Iraq and Afghanistan, and we are there at their invitation. They
are sovereign governments, and we are there today --

Q You mean if they had asked us out, that we would have left?

MR. McCLELLAN: No, Helen, I'm talking about today. We are there at
their invitation. They are sovereign governments --

Q I'm talking about today, too.

MR. McCLELLAN: -- and we are doing all we can to train and equip their
security forces so that they can provide for their own security as they
move forward on a free and democratic future.

Q Did we invade those countries?

MR. McCLELLAN: Go ahead, Steve.

...ah yes, the good 'ol days.

The Decider in Chief

In his always clever use of the English language, George Bush offers these words of support for his embattled secretary of defense, Donald Rumsfeld.

"I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the
speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's
best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

He listens to the little voices in his head, reads only the front page of the newspaper (which is quite an improvement from when he just read the headlines), finds out that six retired generals come out dissin' on his secretary of defense, and now he's decidin' that Rumsfeld should stay.

Now don't get me wrong, decidin' is hard work. Seeing all the evidence of how Rumsfeld was involved in the non-planning for post-Saddam Iraq and now that he's been directly linked to prisoner abuse in Guantanamo, you'd think in the process of all that gruelling decidin', Bush would have made a different decision.

But they've got another illegal war to plan, and I think Bush realizes that since Rumsfeld did such a heckuva job in Iraq, that he's just the man for the job in Iran.

Golf Friday? Golf Sunday? Golf Monday? But Never Golf Today

In one of the 278 email messages/love letters between Jack Abramoff and David Safavian former chief of staff at the General Services Administration, who's accused of lying and other mean nasty and ugly things in connection with the ill-fated trip to play golf in Scotland, we find this gem.

golf Friday? golf Sunday? golf Monday? golf, golf, golf!!"

According to the prosecutors in Safavian's case, "the e-mails demonstrate that Mr. Safavian's relationship with Mr. Abramoff was highly inappropriate."

Not sure what's so inappropriate about a little golf between friends, unless of course they're exchanging woods, cleaning each other's balls, or trading political favors for expensive international golf vacations.

How to Identify a Bad Leak

...burning, itching, pain or blood are all markers of a bad leak, as are evidence of cherry picking information for political gain and to plug an unnecessary war.

But if you go back a week, you'll see that washingtonpost.com has it all wrong. Some poor sod on their editorial staff must be confused. He/She thinks that such an embarrassing urinary predicament is a good leak.

I know, it's difficult to make that appointment, then go talk about it with the pretty nurse, but it really, really must be done. Your particular strain of whatever it might be that your are proliferating need not be spread around indiscriminately. It is paramount that you take the appropriate steps to insure future relationships are not mired in bacteria or the kind of regime change where boatloads of people have their lives ruined.

Mystery of Ann Coulter's Adam's Apple Revealed

We can all rest easy now. They mystery has been solved. Ann Coulter neglected to put a little 'x' on either the M or the F on her voter registration form, and I think we all know what that means.

"I object," said a transgender activist who spoke with PageOneQ
today, "To the state of Florida expecting its citizens to answer
questions which are not relevant for voter registration." When asked
about Coulter's voter registration form, the activist declined to
speak specifically about Coulter. "Generally speaking, I hope there
is a day when transgendered people can be open about who they are
without fear of retribution from employers, colleagues and neighbors.
With that in mind, I hope anyone with a high media profile would use
that opportunity to be honest with the American people."

via Can of Worms

Friday Bart Blogging - April 14th Edition

Bart displays that Ali the Boxer has as much credibility on holding him in his death rip as George Bush does on Iraq and national security.

Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothin' Left to Lose

Ah yes, the Iraqis greeted us as liberators.

They are now liberated from their homes, their possessions and in many cases, some family members. Families averaging six members living in tents in refugee camps, dependent on the Red Crescent for food, water and blankets, scared to go back to their homes due to the threat of violence or intimidation.

The Donald Rumsfeld Anti-Massacre Movement

... and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on the gee-tar... With feeling.

So maybe they thought the first retired General to suggest Rumsfeld step down was really sick, and the second two, maybe they thought were faggots, but now that the fourth retired General has come forward, friends, I think it's a movement.

And as the Carpetbagger suggests, perhaps it's time that Bush demonstrate that he does in fact heed the advice of his Generals and give Rumsfeld his walking papers.

Right in the Kisser

Rep. Kennedy Hit in the Mouth by Hammer

By the looks of this headline, you'd-uh-thunk that Tom "The Hammer" DeLay slugged Rep. Patrick Kennedy in the kisser, or perchance orally raped him.

So sorry to disappoint, but upon further investigation, you'll see that Kennedy simply got hit in the mouth by an airborne hammer's head. The hammer-wielding fellow Matt Kriesel, was trying to display the shock absorption properties of his "gel," but ended up demonstrating the shock absorption properties of a Congressman's bottom lip.

Six stitches later, it was determined that the Congressman's bottom lip is a woefully inferior shock absorption material than the "gel" the Kriesel was demonstrating.

Charlie Crist and His Super Fun Staffers

I'm just not quite sure what to make of this oddity that one of my operatives sent me.

At the least, Florida Republican gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist hired a potty mouth small-cock-fetishist to be his regional data coordinator. Not that there's anything wrong with being a potty mouth... I mean I cuss like a sailor and I bet I'd make a mean regional data coordinator. But the small cock thing, I find perplexing.

I even dug around into her previous posts to try to make hide or hare of it, and I left her site feeling, well... unsatisfied.

Anyhoo, my best guess is that this woman is gettin' it up the behind from Charlie "perma-tan" Crist, which would explain the "small cock" preference, particularly if she's new at it. And if you look at her 2nd paragraph, it could be that Charlie is not ready to go public with this information yet and she also needs to find a good lubricant.

Of course this is just idle speculation, so if anyone else has any ideas, by all means, let us know.

Forensic Vaginal Inspectors

If you have a free half hour or so, go read this nine page article from the NY Times about the draconian abortion laws in El Salvador and one woman's experiences.

El Salvador, however, has not only a total ban on abortion but also
an active law-enforcement apparatus - the police, investigators,
medical spies, forensic vagina inspectors and a special division of
the prosecutor's office responsible for Crimes Against Minors and
Women, a unit charged with capturing, trying and incarcerating an
unusual kind of criminal. Like the woman I was waiting to meet.

But if you don't have a free half hour, just ponder for a few moments what a "forensic vaginal inspector" is and what they might do in the course of a day's work. And then think about what you can do to help keep abortion in the U.S. safe, legal and available.

Wild Speculation

Seeing as how the White House has been engaging in some "wild speculation," I don't see why we, the people of the United States shouldn't follow suit.

The reason George Bush won't let Rumsfeld resign?

Nope, it's not because of that "changing horsemen during the apocalypse" thing, or not wanting to dump the Iraq debacle in some other poor sod's lap. It's because he's the only one that can satisfy Laura. Yup, George Bush is always too drunk, or too busy struggling over the big words in his My First Little Readers book. When Laura gets the itch, she goes straight for Rumsfeld. Or "Schnookie Don" as she likes to call him.

The reason Cheney isn't running for President in 2008?

Nope, not because of his heart problems and not because 84% of American's think he's the anti-christ. It's because he's afraid the press will find out that he was the one behind the whole Jeff Gannon thing. He was letting a male prostitute into the White House, and gratuitously using his services as well as passing him around to other senior officials. His marriage of convenience with Lynne would come to the surface and we'd all find out that the whole lot of them are queer as three headed pennies.

Ever wonder why George Bush takes so much vacation time and why it always seems to be around a full moon?

Yep, he's a werewolf. And the decision to invade Iraq was done during a full moon. We already know it had nothing to do with WMDs or al Qaeda or 9/11. But what we didn't know was that it also had nothing to do with avenging his daddy, or oil, or finding a strategic spot in the Mid East to build some permanent military bases. It was all about gaining unfettered access to fresh meat.

Remember that old story about James Dobson and how he valiantly subdued his 12 pound doggie Siggie?

Well let's just say that "the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast," involved no doggie anal lube, and after the DNA test came back, the county took little Siggie away from the Dobsons and adopted him out to a kinder gentler family.

White House Admits to Treason

A senior administration official, speaking on background because
White House policy prohibits comment on an active investigation, said
Bush sees a distinction between leaks and what he is alleged to have
done. The official said Bush authorized the release of the classified
information to assure the public of his rationale for war as it was
coming under increasing scrutiny.

So lemme get this straight. The President of the United States admits to putting our national security at risk for purely political reasons by outting an undercover CIA agent?

Her husband found out the truth that Iraq was not trying to obtain uranium from Niger and wrote an editorial about it, then Bush decides he wants to punish him for raining on his march-to-war parade o' lies, so he ruins his wife's career, all the while making the U.S. less safe from the bad guys and swearing that he'll find and punish the persons responsible for the leak.

As refreshing as it is to see them admit something like this rather than duck responsibility, this is truly mind-boggling.

Bob Novak's Parting Blowjob for Tom DeLay

Next time Bob, just send a card, ok?

Looks like there is quite a free exchange of oral services between Tom Delay and others in the media, not just Chris Matthews.

This time, we have Bob Novak humming the praises of the disgraced former House Majority Leader.

He must be ranked with the great legislative leaders of all time,
such as Thomas Brackett Reed, Robert A. Taft and Lyndon B. Johnson.
Nobody has been as effective in enacting the conservative agenda into
law, which explains the intense opposition to him.

Come no Bob. Unless you have his dick firmly planted between your tongue and upper palette, you can plainly see that the intense opposition is related to his unethical and criminal behavior

DeLay told me last year that he accepted lobbyist-arranged golf
abroad because that was his only chance ever to play a game he dearly
loved.

Unless your vision is hampered by an erect phallus and a wrinkly hairy scrotum in your face, I can see why you might not see any golf courses closer to Sugar Land, Texas or Washington D.C. than St. Andrews on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean in Scotland.

I just can't stop thinking that if Clinton hadn't popularized the blow job, that all these media whores wouldn't suck nearly as much cock.

Friday Bart Blogging - April 7th, 2006

Bart asserts his constitutional right to leak anything he wants, anywhere he wants at any time he wants.

Tom DeLay - Cocksucker

For those of you that thought Tom DeLay was a worthless piece of criminal swine, there is evidence that he is good for something.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Thanks. I owe you one. I owe you two -- today and last night.

TOM DELAY: No you don't.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: No, I do.

TOM DELAY: I appreciate it.

He can give one hell of a hummer. Two days in a row.

Rock, Paper Scissors on Captiol Hill

Condi chooses 'Rock' in the spirited contest with the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to decide whether the U.S. should share their nuclear secrets with India.

Rush Limbagh and Self Flagellation

I'm just not sure what to make of this quaint little exchange on Rush Limbaugh's exquisitely poignant radio show, but I shouldn't have to be the only nauseous one, so I figured I share.

CALLER 2: Oh, OK. Well, but, I -- it definitely offended me to hear
you say that on the national program. The world's largest -- as you say.

LIMBAUGH: Yeah, well --

CALLER 2: But maybe you should take half your brain from behind your
back next time.

LIMBAUGH: You know, I'm thinking what I ought to do, [caller], is
something that I used to do in the early days of this program and
that is spank myself.

Whiling away a lazy afternoon with B&D is not nearly as appealing when you don't have a partner and are all hopped up on painkillers.

The Perversion of the Pious

The Parents Television Council, whose mission is "to promote and restore responsibility and decency to the entertainment industry..." thinks the naughty, naughty video clip from Without a Trace that commanded a hefty three million dollar fine from the FCC should be made available on their website in an attempt to "urge people to prevent others from watching it."

So only go watch it if your reason for watching it is to find it sickening, and to email all your friends with the link so they too can watch it and find it equally sickening and in turn email the link to all of their friends, who will no doubt also find it horribly sickening.

via WFMU's Beware of the Blog and The Poor Man

How Will Tom DeLay Pay His Legal Fees?

Chick-a-chick-a-mou-mou....

"Good afternoon ladies, I hear you have a pest problem." Sez Tom DeLay wielding his bulging bug spray canister and stiff spray wand.

*Giggle*
"Yes, Mr. Bugman. I saw a really icky creepy bug between the waterbed in the guest room and the hot tub. I think Mitsy saw it last."

Of course if you just can't stomach The Bugman Cumeth and his campaign war chest gets used up, perhaps after his prison term is over and all of his orfices have properly healed, he'll end up on the Surreal Life.

SpinDentist has a super-fun online poll with some other suggestions too!

The Nastiness of Tom DeLay

Tom DeLay is stepping down, citing the potential nastiness of a continued run to defend his seat in the House.

"I think I could have won this seat but it would have been nasty."

Nasty is when a skanky "big boned" girl in a mini skirt stands up and you discover that she left a pinkish slug trail on her chair.

No, I think a continued DeLay campaign would have just been more of the same humdrum hypocritical and criminal behavior that we've all come to know, love and expect from the Bugman. Hardly in the same category of skanky girls and slug trails, if you ask me.

Wonkette really says it best.

Yeah, we'll miss the old bastard...— he knew how to be a majority
leader, dammit....It's about multiple admonishments from the House
ethics committee, comparing yourself to Jesus, flashing a shit-eating
grin in your mugshot, money-laundering, calling for violent retribution
against activist judges, and contacting six federal agencies to trail
Texas Democrats!

Yes, I'm going to miss The Hammer. I just hope he sticks around in politics in some form and continues to entertain us with his delightful antics -- after his prison sentence is over, of course. Otherwise, I just don't know what would become of I Love Tom DeLay.

Since We're on the Topic of Death Sentence Eligibility

Zacarias Moussaoui is now eligible for the death penalty for withholding information and lying to FBI agents about the 9/11 plot, and they think the attacks might have been thwarted had he been more forthcoming.

My question is, why come the FBI agents that neglected to delve into Harry Samit's evidence and denied a request to search Moussaoui's computer and belongings aren't similarly eligible for the death penalty.

"You tried to move heaven and earth to get a search warrant to search
this man's belongings and you were obstructed," MacMahon said to Samit.

"Yes sir, I was obstructed." Samit replied.

[...]

...Samit cited "obstructionism, criminal negligence and careerism"
by top FBI officials as what stopped his investigation.

The FBI had much more information about the plot than Moussaoui did, and they refused to act on it.

Since our justice system hands down death sentences like candy, why not pass them out to the folks who are responsible for the 9/11 intelligence failures and all the way up to the top rung of the ladder.

The Katherine Harris New Campaign Staff or Looney Toons Hits the Campaign Trail

So it seems that the bulk of Katherine Harris's campaign staff as moseyed on to other more lucrative projects, where they don't have to deal with an ape shit Katherine Harris calling the shots.

Sometime this week, she's going to entertain us with announcing her brand spanky new "team of seasoned campaigners who believe in my candidacy, are committed to this campaign, and support the values of mainstream Florida citizens."

I don't know about you guys, but I'm all atwitter to find out who they are. In fact, I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep until I find out.

Seeing as how she's a wee bit radioactive these days to most serious campaign workers, she might have to start looking in non-traditional places to staff the open positions. Now this may just be idle speculation, but word on the street, is she's in negotiations with Looney Toons to fill some of these positions with their seasoned campaign veterans and adorably drawn characters.

Yosemite Sam: He'll blow you to smithereens if you don't support her.
Tweety Bird: I tawt I heard Jesus say he wants her to stay in the race
Sylvester: Thuffering thuccotash, that Bill Nethson ith jutht tho very librul
Elmer Fudd: He'll complain ad naseum about that wascally weft-wing media
Also, Bugs Bunny has agreed to appear and speak dressed as a girl bunny at some fundraisers, to appeal to the Log Cabin Republicans and those that aren't allowed in the evangelical churches, where she'll be doing most of her fundraising. He's also going to double as a make-up consultant.